Thursday, June 23, 2011

Two Worlds


Dome of the Jefferson Building (Library of Congress) reflected from the side of a tour bus.

Sometimes things turn on a dime. Do you know what I'm talking about? I'll be headed in one direction, full speed ahead. The next thing I know I'm turned 180 degrees away from what I thought I was doing, on my way towards something very different. This is one of the reasons I love walking the labyrinth; those hairpin turns are resonant. When I first started the practice of walking the labyrinth, I always slowed down to a crawl when I made the turns. It was a ritual in which my intention was to become more conscious of the inevitable twists and turns that are a part of everyone's lifetime journey.

I'm thinking about it this morning for a number of reasons. One rather banal reversal has to do with realizing that, all of a sudden, out of the nowhere, the Matchbox Bar is no longer my "power spot." Kind of silly, eh? For a year I have luxuriated often at that bar, engaged in witty repartee with the bartenders and fellow barflies. Last night I realized I am completely over the Matchbox Bar. That phase is done, just like that. Snap.

Here's an example of a more productive recent turnaround. I've been staring at the "wealth" corner of the chateau (according to classical Feng Shui) since I moved in, thinking, "I should do something over there," and yet have done nothing. But yesterday all that changed. I pulled everything out of the space, sanded and painted. Today I'll finish the painting, put it back together again. What was it that motivated me to actually DO something? Hey, don't ask me! I turned a corner into a slightly different world where it's possible to do this project. I guess!

When Jake died almost two years ago, I experienced a very sad switchback into a different world. I went from being a dog owner to not being a dog owner within a matter of minutes. The emotional whiplash from that shift lingered for a long time. In fact, I am still recovering.

As we come to the conclusion of this very eventful eclipse cycle, a lot of sudden shifts and reversals away from what I knew to be true, are revealing themselves to me.

In the past this would have been cause for concern. One benefit of the heart opening I've been engaged with is that I'm finding access to a lot of trust. I'm bewildered by it all, to be sure, but instead of tilting into the confusion, I'm taking a step back, listening, watching, paying attention. Maybe I'll learn some things I DON'T already know. Ya think? Also: que sera sera. I have no control over these things. So be it. Back to the wealth corner. Oh yeah.

10 comments:

jeanette from everton terrace said...

Sometimes when I get very sick, sick bed or hospital kind of sick, I wonder if it isn't about forcing me to stop going in the direction I was headed. I remember when I was younger and I mentioned to my mother I needed a "sign" she said "ask for a ton of bricks on your head because you don't ever feel the tap on your shoulder". She was right of course, I'm better at it now. I also now believe everything happens the way it is supposed to. We lost our Jake a year ago this week, still a little raw.
Posted my DC photos yesterday, thanks again for the restaurant suggestion :)

Reya Mellicker said...

So you're blogging again? I'll go check it out! Excellent.

Yes in the past I needed to be turned around by a major slap across the face. I'm learning to pay attention to the signs though. It's a steep learning curve, but definitely I'm improving.

ellen abbott said...

I think my turns are more gradual. that or it takes a long time for me to notice.

Kerry said...

The Matchbox sounded like a cool place, a place of comfort and amusement, and perhaps you can still re-visit it once in awhile. But wow, you are moving quickly into other places these days and it is very cool to read about your journey.

I have been reading about how to draw labyrinths. There are many kinds, all of them meticulously planned. The easiest one starts with a plus sign in the very center, which I like a lot.

Reya Mellicker said...

Kerry that's the Cretan 7-circuit labyrinth, the oldest I think. I'm partial to the Chartres 11-circuit. Cut my teeth, as it were, on the labyrinths at Grace Cathedral in SF.

steven said...

reya ... i turn corners slowly and completely. i look behind me with care and gratitude. i look ahead with curiousity, respect, and love.
truth is a good friend and stays for as long as is necessary ... waiting on those corners. steven

Chris Wolf said...

have you ever taken the Strength Finders, Reya? Just curious, I did them last week, and although I wasn't surprised, I found a lot of food for thought in the pages of the book. Peace,

Reya Mellicker said...

Strength finders? Tell me more! I'll ask on Facebook, too. Thanks, Chris.

Pam said...

I am so with you on all of this Reya. So glad to have read your post. I wonder where this is taking us? I come from a place of humble acceptance much more these days though there is certainly a sense of observing oneself with curiosity in the midst of living the process.
I am hoping my emotional whiplash is not too severe when only daughter leaves to live overseas soon - there are certainly pivotal changes taking place, and I notice many long-time bloggers are deciding to hang up the blogging boots this week- a bit like giving up your favourite socializing place I guess!...as long as you give up the bar but please,not the blog!xx

Reya Mellicker said...

Pam - who is quitting blogging? I must get around to see. I have so many blog fellows that I just can;t see everyone every day.

I think about quitting my blog all the time, but so far have not had the nerve. Thanks for the encouragement!