Thursday, June 23, 2011
Dome of the Jefferson Building (Library of Congress) reflected from the side of a tour bus.
Sometimes things turn on a dime. Do you know what I'm talking about? I'll be headed in one direction, full speed ahead. The next thing I know I'm turned 180 degrees away from what I thought I was doing, on my way towards something very different. This is one of the reasons I love walking the labyrinth; those hairpin turns are resonant. When I first started the practice of walking the labyrinth, I always slowed down to a crawl when I made the turns. It was a ritual in which my intention was to become more conscious of the inevitable twists and turns that are a part of everyone's lifetime journey.
I'm thinking about it this morning for a number of reasons. One rather banal reversal has to do with realizing that, all of a sudden, out of the nowhere, the Matchbox Bar is no longer my "power spot." Kind of silly, eh? For a year I have luxuriated often at that bar, engaged in witty repartee with the bartenders and fellow barflies. Last night I realized I am completely over the Matchbox Bar. That phase is done, just like that. Snap.
Here's an example of a more productive recent turnaround. I've been staring at the "wealth" corner of the chateau (according to classical Feng Shui) since I moved in, thinking, "I should do something over there," and yet have done nothing. But yesterday all that changed. I pulled everything out of the space, sanded and painted. Today I'll finish the painting, put it back together again. What was it that motivated me to actually DO something? Hey, don't ask me! I turned a corner into a slightly different world where it's possible to do this project. I guess!
When Jake died almost two years ago, I experienced a very sad switchback into a different world. I went from being a dog owner to not being a dog owner within a matter of minutes. The emotional whiplash from that shift lingered for a long time. In fact, I am still recovering.
As we come to the conclusion of this very eventful eclipse cycle, a lot of sudden shifts and reversals away from what I knew to be true, are revealing themselves to me.
In the past this would have been cause for concern. One benefit of the heart opening I've been engaged with is that I'm finding access to a lot of trust. I'm bewildered by it all, to be sure, but instead of tilting into the confusion, I'm taking a step back, listening, watching, paying attention. Maybe I'll learn some things I DON'T already know. Ya think? Also: que sera sera. I have no control over these things. So be it. Back to the wealth corner. Oh yeah.