I had dinner last night with someone I love very much. It was a perfect opportunity to experiment with softening under the influence of love and beauty. I did not fall down, swoon, or tilt against the feeling. I did not harden or push the feeling away. Wow. This friend is well aware of how much I love him, so it was a "safe" environment in which to experiment. What unfolded was a really nice, relaxed evening with no strings attached - exactly perfect, in fact.
Today I'm attending the funeral of a dear friend's father. I'm going to again experiment with softening (which could be fairly easy, considering the fact that we'll be standing in Arlington Cemetery during the hottest part of this very hot day). Funerals have historically been awful experiences for me, but maybe if I can let the emotions of sadness and love for my friend move through me, it won't be as traumatic. Ya think? We shall see.
Love is super-potent. Whoa. Historically it has brought out the best and worst in me, sometimes all at once. Yeah I am still feeling very cautious and jumpy about opening to the third road of love (neither tilting against nor being knocked down by it). But I'm not going to stop trying to love more authentically. Baby steps, small moves - that's my strategy. Onwards to the summer of love. Oh yeah.
10 comments:
I haven't been commenting, but I love your conversations about love. I'm generally pretty distant, in person, & always have been. I wonder what it would feel like to just drop that wall?
Based on my experience last night, dropping the wall is great. But I remain cautious, and skeptical. Onwards to my next experiment!
I am so happy for you! what an unfolding, blossoming, joy. If you have a minute, visit my blog and navigate back to my post of 9/29/09. I have a hunch that it would speak to you in a good way.
Ooops! August 29, 2009. Titled "Compassion."
I like your title :)
YES California Girl - took that shamelessly from you!
reya - imagine you are here now. how lovely and good for you. and if you want to throw the features of this world into the equation . . . at the right time and space. love with an open hand, heart, soul. it all is happening anyway. letting awareness and sensitivity in brings it to blossom. letting love be all that love is. steven
Go girl!
Yes Steven - no more than it is, but no less. The Tao of Goldilocks!
Hey Natalie!!
Like Bug, I've been enjoying your thoughts (as well as the thoughts of the wise men and women who have been commenting) on love.
Enjoy the summer of love.
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