Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Not so Equinoxesque
Can I share a secret? I really dislike spring. Well ... I LOVE spring, but I also hate it. Spring here in the American midatlantic is such a Thing, it goes On and On, it produces So Much Color and there's So Much Life Force that I find it overwhelming. Spring is so In My Face, it makes me feel fully alive on all levels. And ... it gets on my nerves.
I feel like a teenager in springtime: moody, I mean. I move from the highest high to the lowest low, sometimes within a matter of a few minutes. Then I look in a mirror and realize I'm 58 years old which gets me even moodier. There will be a perfect day of 70 F. weather with a soft breeze which both seduces me and makes me self-conscious because I know it's time to get the first pedicure of the season, shave my legs and GOD, they're so WHITE and so OLD. And FAT. Sounds just like an adolescent, eh? Such unnattractive thought forms for a middle aged lady.
Then a stormy series of days comes up so then I'm bitching about having to wear shoes and jeans again. Cranky cranky cranky ... also: laughing, jumping around, dancing like a maniac ... that's me in springtime.
I'm allergic to spring. Ever since I started seeing the Sufi acupuncturist, my allergies have become much less virulent, but nevertheless there is a period that lasts several weeks, just as the roses are blooming at the end of April, when I itch and sneeze, grind my eyeballs into my skull, blow my nose incessantly. Oy vey. Spring!!
Of course: I love spring, too. The bursting of the the beautiful blooms mirrors the way all the people get outside like animals leaving their burrows at the end of winter. It is so great. I hear people talking and laughing, Eastern Market is bustling. It's a season of hope and cheer that I welcome, especially after the long, cold, discouraging winter just past.
There is no time of year when I feel less in balance than at spring equinox. Go figure.