Friday, July 10, 2009

Unwinding patterns



I'm no longer expecting to see Jake in the places where he hung out - in the bathroom where he hid from the world, next to the closet on the nice rug I had to throw away after he died, not in his overstuffed rocker, or next to the fan at the foot of the bed.

Funny, though, that I'm still looking for his reflection, not only in the mirror on the closet door but in car doors I pass as I'm walking around. I know he's gone, but obviously somewhere in my subconscious I believe that his reflection is still here, waiting to be digitally captured.

It's not, though. He left this world completely and took all his energy with him. He is free.

Have a wonderful weekend, y'all. Washington DC is stupendously beautiful, cool and dry this week. Wherever you are, live it up!

31 comments:

Natalie said...

Oh, you are clever with your camera, Reya.
It will be that way for a time....I still look for my Aunty at the shopping centre, and she has been gone a year, this week.It takes time to unravel the cords that bind.xx♥

Lizzy Frizzfrock said...

I hope you have a good weekend also. Enjoy the beautiful weather & think of us sweltering down here in Texas where yesterday's temperature was 102 at 6 PM. Oh do I long for the cool days of October.

mary said...

Enjoy your weather - I know it's really not your weekend. My friend just went through the same thing and just yesterday swept up the fur balls.........

time, time, only time

Elizabeth said...

Yes, super pictures.
Sunny and bright in NY
off to Macy's sale.............hmm

steven said...

hi reya, after my dad flew away last christmas i started thinking - now where did he go? he'll reveal himself to me somehow and in a way only i'll know - - and i have seen people who look like him so many times since it makes me smile. 'course it's not him it's some other guy but it makes me smile for the game of it and how he would laugh and with his gentle english buddha influenced voice say "now you know better".
a dry warm weekend here too . . . peaceful bike rides, sleeps by the poolside, books, films, and good eats and drinks - have a peaceful day reya. steven

ellen abbott said...

Beautiful pics Reya. I especially like the top one.

Jake is running free with no leashes.

Peaches said...

So many of your photographs are extremely good. You have enough to have your own show/exhibit, or to make a book. Yes, they're that good.

Joanne said...

Beautiful sunny weather in CT too. We'll be painting the deck, color - tea leaf. Have a nice weekend ...

Teri and the cats of Furrydance said...

I have been visiting everyday and see the changes, difficult to make, I just know.

I remember when I changed my voicemail message to say "Teri and the cats, instead of Mike and Teri and the cats. That was very hard, and a friend said she could hear the halt in my voice and even she was sad when she hear the change.

Yes, Jake took his energy with him, but he is still energizing your days with his memories and that in itself is healing and a blessing.

Yes, it is lovely in the area today, all my windows are open and I am loving the low humdidity. I like the last photo the best, with the plants and brick reflecting...there but not there, just like Jake

Siobhán said...

Hang in there Reya.
Enjyo your weekend too and keep taking those wonderfully creative pictures.

Tessa said...

Aaah, yes - I hear you, sister. I still see my father....over there, look, that tall man walking away, down there at the end of the road. See, the man with the silver hair who carries himself with a kind of princely demeanour....

I hope your weekend in beautiful Washington is peaceful and gentle and healing.

debra said...

I sometimes see BD in the woods...
It's supposed to be stormy here in NE Ohio tomorrow. That's ok. It's an opportunity to be quiet, and to hear the rain on the metal roof of this old house. The garden will love it.

Dan Gurney said...

Jake is free. And yet...

I wonder if it's true that Jake left the world completely and took ALL his energy with him. If that were true, how could you miss him? He left energy stirring in your heart, didn't he?

You say, "somewhere in my subconscious I believe that his reflection is still here." Jake's energy lingers right there--in your subconscious heart of hearts--and his energy shall continue to linger there for some time.

Nancy said...

Those pictures are amazing - especially that first one - how did you do that?

Glad Jake has moved on, probably thanks to having such a enlightened owner.

Enjoy your weekend too, Reya!

Ronda Laveen said...

It is funny you mention Jake's reflection. I find myself continuing to see him shine back at me. Like some kind of reflective Where's Waldo. Sweet Edward Norton dreams.

Marie said...

Hope you had a good weekend too. I'm sure Jake is happy wherever he is. When I lost my dog Sammy Jo a couple of years back my other dog Buster woke up and began sniffing around the house looking for his playmate. When he didnt find him he just layed down. And I wanted to burst into tears because he knew he knew Sammy Jo had died. Now Buster is happy but hes moved on. And the reflection of Sammy Jo will always live in my heart. Jake will always love you.

Karen said...

Oh man, I know just what that feels like. It's so disorienting, and so jarring sometimes in that moment when you re-remember... Hope you're able to keep your feet under you. Big hugs.

Meri said...

Love the melange of photos pieced together to get (most of) the whole. Isn't that a metaphor for life? A melange of moments strung together. . .

Steve said...

I think Jake's reflection is still there, in that leaf and that light, somehow...everything is connected, after all!

lakeviewer said...

You'll be reminded of him all the time. Those we loved continue to live among us.

Rebecca Clayton said...

OK, it finally dawned on me--Jake was your First Dog, maybe your first close non-human friend. Wow--that must feel more like losing your Only Friend than losing a loved one. I just didn't get what an adjustment this was for you before. (Sorry to be so slow.)

I was an only child on a farm, and my first memories are of meeting the gaze of cats and dogs, pigs and chickens, all at my eye level. I can't imagine what losing that connection must feel like.

Of course, you'll have other friends outside your species, some close, some more like acquaintances. (Mocking birds are good to know, and easy to meet in D.C., although birds are so darn different than us that they're hard to really connect with.)

Jake was a special guy, and loss is loss, but breaking that non-human bond is another sort of pain, and you're very wise to spend time with other dogs.

I'm sure you're right about the creative surge in your future, as you process these things. I'm excited for you! Be well.

Carolyn said...

Reya, beautiful pictures and I have to admit I have missed Jake in your photographs. I am glad you are feeling a little better.
Blessings and smiles

Mrsupole said...

I look forward to your movement in your life, if your spirit guides tell you that a new beginning is going to happen then be prepared for a real difference in your life. Jake will always be there in our hearts, but it will be nice to see you happy, happy, happy, or as you can be in this situation.

Hopefully time will help to heal all.

God bless.

Val said...

I am so glad you are feeling stronger; Jake will always be walking with you for sure - thelovely weather is a gift to help you heal x

lettuce said...

like steve, i can't help thinking he is there in the reflections somewhere

have a peaceful weekend reya.

Pam said...

Hope you are feeling a little stronger each day Reya. Stupendously beautiful weather and environment helps - so happy the sun is shining for you, helping you to capture those amazing photographic images.

California Girl said...

I D.C. is not humid in July, you definitely have something to celebrate.

AquaSass said...

Have an amazing summer day! Thanks for your support and your comment. It is so cool to be connected with people:) Especially when you feel like your world is overwhelming, this blogisphere is a breath of fresh air.

Bee said...

There is something so beautiful and serene about that first photograph . . . and there is mystery in it, too.

I'm so glad that the weather is fine, because I know that it cannot help but lift your spirits.

Lizzy Frizzfrock said...

I like your prefix to The Gold Puppy. It's quite fitting!

Merle Sneed said...

It took me a long time to get over the feeling that my old dog Dingo, was laying at my feet.