Friday, July 24, 2009

Parallel Rites of Passage



Families share DNA, they share history, too, though it's not unusual for each individual to remember family stories differently. The family argument in which there's a dispute about how things really went down is almost a cliche.

One thing I believe families share is an oversoul, a family soul that is some kind of ethereal amalgamation of all the individual souls. It won't surprise you to learn that I believe family souls have their own brand of sentience. Clashes between families (like the Hatfields vs. the McCoys or the Montagues vs. the Capulets) are, according to the cosmology of Reya, between the family souls. Clan vs. clan rarely has anything to do with the individuals involved. Should individuals act against the biases of the family soul, things never go well for them. Never.

There are also family souls that adopt each other. When that happens, an extended family is created in which all individuals understand that they are related - not by blood, but at a soul level.

Within the Mellicker family, there have been many instances of parallel experience that I believe have more to do with the karmic path of our family soul than anything else. My sisters each gave birth to a son within a year or two of each other, followed by a daughter, also within a year of each other. One of my sisters and I both married very young and very stupidly, to passionate Scorpios (we are both Aquarians), and were subsequently divorced within a short period of time. I could go on, but you get the idea.

This summer the parallel rites of passage within my blood family have been truly remarkable. My great nephew was born, a week "late", about three hours before Jake died. Our family soul opened a door. One soul incarnated while another departed, indeed. Yesterday one of my sisters had to say goodbye to her beloved pet, her 21-year old cat, Hobbes. When Jake died, I leaned heavily on her. Now I can be there for her because I do know exactly what she's going through.

Does misery love company? Because it has definitely helped me a lot to move through this time of loss, shoulder to shoulder - or maybe I should say heart to heart, with my sister. I'm thinking today of her beloved cat. May he rest in peace.

23 comments:

Deborah said...

heart to heart
and this sad heart
couldn't have done this without you

love you so

Dani said...

I also believe in the idea of adopted family souls. Sometimes the shared souls that are not blood related can be the strongest.

Stronger because the souls weren't automatically put together in a family dynamic. It's like they had to struggle to find each other and that's powerful.

Cynthia said...

Reya, your cosmology is fascinating. I also think about the beat phenomenon- like when something happens similar events occur soon after...for example in a parking lot...have you ever noticed that in a filled to the brim lot when a space is made available...the next one that opens is near by? I'm not sure why...but things seem to occur in beats...it makes me ponder the influence and interrelationship between thought and event...and how reality is perceptually shaped.

Sending much love and compassion to your sister in her loss. <3

Peaches said...

Twenty-one years...deep roots...

Nancy said...

Great post.

I was married young to a Scorpio that didn't last.

steven said...

the family soul. i love that idea. i think that in addition to synchronicities there are realignments within the individual souls that come about as the result of the family soul moving along its own path.
i watched my father's journey hover over a seventy five year parabola that saw him leave behind much of what our families' collective presence had been to embrace what it was becoming. so i think that a family soul can evolve and draw members with it.
hey, i was married young to a scorpio that didn't last too!! where are all those scorpios now? what's up with that?!! have a lovely day. by the way, i'm so grateful for your constant sharing of the beautiful flowers reya. steven

lakeviewer said...

You are so right about families sharing a collective soul. It explains how some people fit in right away; and some never do.

Carolyn said...

Reya, I so believe in the family soul. I am one of four children seperated 50 years ago and recently found. Our sad paths are so remarkably similiar...we are working on changing that now.
Your journey through Jake's passing can do nothing but bring comfort to sisters and others.
Blessings

Elizabeth said...

Such a lovely picture of Jake.
Your sister's cat certainly lived to a very great age

I was adopted but adored my parents.
My son was born in the middle of the night between their birthdays.
Feb 28th/March Ist.(28th won) Good thing it wasn't leap year!
My first grandchild is due 4 days after my 60th b'day.....hum.......

GOSH
word verification: blest.......!!!

John Hayes said...

Somehow the family soul idea strikes me as a bit scary; will have to ponder that one. No doubt there's some truth to it, but it's still unsettling (depending on the family, of course).

Condolences to your sister.

Gemel said...

I don't know my family, and my animals have taken the place of teh humans as the givers of love. I lost my beloved Blossom 12 days ago, with her went a piece of my heart, no one physically close understands my pain, the loss, the devastation of her departure. And the sadness that engulfs me has left me weak, wearied and alone in my grief.

Cherish your family, it is a gift to know your true roots.......

Tom said...

i haven't noticed much the family thing, not that it isn't nice to be around the family...and i the aquarius hooked up with a sagitarius now for 22 or so years, and pretty damn happy...so far so good. I never did the research, guess i just got lucky.

charmedwishes said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Reya Mellicker said...

I work with a lot of families in my massage practice, something I love. Each member of the family brings a different facet of the family soul into my treatment room. It doesn't feel spooky at all to me, Tom. The idea of a family soul explains a lot about how clans and families behave.

Gemel I am so sorry for your loss.

I have very strong family souls within groups of friends, so I know what you're talking about, Dani. I could write a whole post on adoption - the way we in our species take each other in at such a deep level, whether we share blood or not.

Joanne said...

Love the concept of a family soul, moving along the same wavelength.

Butternut Squash said...

It is certain that there are patterns within families that are destined to repeat themselves generation after generation. When your family is truely whacky, the idea of a family soul is a bit intimidating. But, the idea of my friends as part of that family soul gives me great hope.

Barbara Martin said...

I can see a family connection of souls in my own family, though I tend to identify with my mother's side of the family more than my father's. Family ideals and perceptions run in cycles.

My condolences to your sister on the loss of her cat. My thoughts are with her, and you, Reya.

karen said...

Most interesting topic! My sister and I seem to have followed similar paths. Both ended up studying almost identical courses at university, then both in our twenties got married to divorced men roughly ten years our senior. (Or maybe it's to do with some shared experiences in our youth that sent us subconsciously searching in a similar way...)

I like the idea of family soul adoptions too, and can relate to that! And yes, some of mine are animals, too. So sorry to hear about Hobbes the cat. 21 is an impressive feline age!

Mrsupole said...

I think it is wonderful that you both can be there for each other. That is what a family is about. To be there in the good and the bad times and to love and protect each other. And as the family, no matter what kinds of family ties are there to bind you together, grows to have even more doing this.

Sounds like you are a great family. I am glad for you all.

God bless.

Margaret Gosden said...

Seems to me that in some ways your collages mirror your thoughts. None-the-less, this collage is so reminiscent of certain streets and houses that I know. What a gift you have for picking up the essence of a place.

Ronda Laveen said...

Oh, poor, poor Hobbes. 21? What a warrior kitty! The list of beings leaving the planet just gets longer and longer. I know so many of my friends and clients are losing pets and family members left and right. The story of the birth of your great nephew and the transition of Jake is classic...as is Steve's story.

Family karmic agreements? Ahh, yes, I concur.

Steve said...

Reya, thanks for the link! I love the idea of the family "oversoul." One of the things I struggle with in my Dad's branch of the family is how to incorporate my stepmother and step-siblings into that oversoul. (Or, maybe, just recognize their place in it.) They usually refer to me as just son or brother, while I always refer to them as "step" mother or "step" brother or sister. Am I negating their place in the oversoul? (Having my biological mom still alive is a big part of why I maintain that distinction -- they don't have the same issue.) Anyway, a lot to think about here. :)

Janelle said...

ooooooo LOVE the horse in last post...and the pics of chess players and bare feet...lots love x j ps word veri catte...sorry about your sister's cat. x