I cried me a river yesterday. Not only was I expressing my grief about the death of Tessa Edwards, but I think in many ways I was releasing all of the momentous events of 2010 in one big ole storm of tears and snot (because when I cry, I always have to blow my nose, too - don't you?) So much stuff came out of me, I wondered if I had suddenly come down with a cold. Fortunately and finally, the storm of release subsided, leaving me at last peacefully empty.
Please understand, this was a GREAT year for me. A few examples of wonder from 2010: I moved house into this beautiful nest at the base of the chateau, on a beautiful street just seven blocks from my beloved Capitol. I've had houseguests and dinner guests and many quiet evenings. I love living here! Also during 2010: my heart opened to romantic love which - unfortunately - didn't work out, not at all, but the experience was quite a revelation. It can happen at any age! I didn't know that, how cool. And: halfway through 2010, after talking about it literally for decades, I gave playing the bass a go, and at last was able to let go of that ambition without regret. Just one more: I let my hair grow longer than it has ever been. Oh man, I LOVE my long, silver hair.
During 2010 I experienced a number of soul retrievals. I was reconnected with an ancient set of lifetimes as a rather run-of-the-mill warrior. I reunited with high school friends at a retreat in southern Missouri during which I was reminded of all the GOOD things about that period of time in my life. I traced the silver cord of connection - at last - back to World War II, found my place there, and began preparations to heal the part of my soul that suffered so terribly in the camps. I learned from first-hand experience that karmic ties can indeed be broken, oaths that never should have been made can be dissolved. Who knew?? That revelation and the broken oath lifted my heart. It was so liberating.
Several friendships deepened during this past year, always a wonderful thing. I laughed, walked around, took pictures, danced, dreamed, cooked, socialized, worked hard and enjoyed life. 2010 was a truly stellar year.
I'm not sad to see the end of 2010, though, not at all. It has been a good year, but it's over now. Hasta la vista, baby. Onwards & upwards to 2011. One more day. Let's go! Oh yeah.
I can't imagine what it would be like to be as cool as Diana Krall.
13 comments:
I haven't reviewed my year yet but many good things happened and one very heavy karmic lesson on compassion.
I share your great sadness at losing Tessa. It's very difficult, a terrible way to end this year. But I am glad for the good that also came your way in 2010.
man. we're so in synch. been blubbin' my eyes out...sad about tessa and yes indeed, the year is over....i've been listening to piles of Etta James...man...one more day to go...still listening to Don't Cry by Etta...just adore her...voice everything...love ya reya...keep on rockn cowgal...x j
Endings and beginnings are such powerful, mixed up things. Sometimes I can't tell them apart, and I'm surprised at which ones make me cry. I know you'll figure it out.
Wow, you've had a great year. I love your long silver hair, too - it looks wonderful on you!
We usually go over our year on NYE - over fondue and lots of champagne. We hate to leave the house, but we do enjoy looking over the year and deciding what we would like to see happen in the next. It has been a very good year for us and I am very grateful. We'll listen to Diana Krall - especially Cry Me a River, and toast to 2011. One just never knows what the new year will bring.
So sorry to hear of the passing of one of your blogging friends, Reya.
haven't quite been able to get the lump out of my throat and really let it flow- 2010 has been ...a year...and if I were as cool as Diana Krall I would certainly keep things from spoiling. Sending love like a fresh box of kleenex your way ,sistah. Oh and your hair- Your hair your hair!!! Amazing and beautiful.
You are all so cool!
Thanks, Beth, and nice to "meet" you. Tessa was very special in so many ways. I've heard of at least five dreams about her already, even from people who didn't know a thing about her.
Ellen you had QUITE a year.
Janelle - I'll be tuning in to Etta momentarily. Yes we are on a wavelength at the moment. Love that, though I'm not crazy about all the "blubbin'" as you say. I had more moments of blubbin this morning. Sheesh.
hmm- i don't remember doing a lot of crying this year...it was hectic and the weather wasn't all that nice, but all in all 2010 was a year to remember...good friends good times, and more to come. Happy New Year, Reya
You are an explorer, always finding something new and exciting within everything you do. And then you share it with the rest of us through your words and photography. I'm really looking forward to the 2011 edition of your daily musings. Happy New Year!
To be able to live so deeply and share it all so freely is a wonderful thing. My ten year old granddaughter made up this motto: "Live life through. Have fun along the way."
Paying homage, letting go, realizing that everything can change - even oaths and karmic ties - what more could you want from a year of living?
Happy New Year Reya!
Pauline, your granddaughter is a genius!
Live life through. Have fun along the way.
yeah
Happy new year to you, too, Cyndy.
This post moves me -- its honesty, its openness, its soul-searching and finding. Thanks, Reya...
I hate to think of you crying - though fully understand. This was not a great year for me - yet I had some wonderful travels. But I seem to live my life by decades - and I feel an amazing journey shaping up. Re-inventing myself once again ...and will be back in touch. I've missed you. Happy New Year !
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