Yes I am philosophical by nature, I like to think about things, find meaning. But the truth is, if I took the time to contemplate every one of life's experiences, honestly, there would be no time to do the laundry, cook dinner, or focus on other people such as my family, friends, neighbors and clients.
One of my spirit guides told me long ago that the secret to mastery is in being able to discern which of life's unfoldings is worthy of attention. I've been working with discernment for many years. Though I am improving, it is slow work, at least for me. Boundaries are a bitch.
It's easy enough to dismiss small things in which I am not interested, such as the mailman Kenny returning from Vegas a little bit richer than when he went. Hardly anyone walks away from a gambling vacation the better for it. It's notable. I could put some time into the benefits of taking risks. But I already know about risk taking, for god's sake, hence this doesn't seem worthy of much thought.
But some experiences stand out. This morning I'm thinking - again - about Poland, about how I was powerfully drawn to go there for so many years, how I tried to talk my sibs into going with me, but none of them was the least bit interested.* I'm thinking about how I befriended a Polish woman a couple of years ago, how we merrily planned to go to Krakow together. We planned to go next month, September 2011. We decided on the dates of travel last summer I believe.
Then what happened? I'm still wondering. Perhaps an angel took me by the shoulders, whispered a truth to me, or Lady Fortuna set me on a slightly different tragectory. A divine source opened my eyes.
I am what a friend calls an "energy whore." Yeah. I'll head right for intense energy whether that energy is "good" or "bad." As long as it is powerful, that's all I care about. Is there a twelve-step program for this addiction? It came me out of the nowhere, the reality check: Poland is my black hole, my armageddon. It is a land with which I have LOTS of arduous karma, and - may I point out - I'm not the only one! Whoa.
Just as I was deciding I really shouldn't ever go to Poland, suddenly the friend with whom I was supposed to go turned hostile towards me, picked arguments every time we got together. When I called her on it, she turned the cold shoulder and that was it. Snap. Our friendship was over. That was weird enough, but within the very same week, a longtime client, also Polish, pulled a fast one on me. It was very weird; I worked with her every other week for years - nothing like it had ever happened. When I called her on it she became extremely hostile. I haven't seen either one of them and doubt seriously I will ever hear from them again.
OK, by anyone's standards, a coincidence like that bears examination. What I'm thinking about this morning is how the land gets into people, the landscape with which people identify becomes a part of their identity and soul. That the only two Polish people I know would turn on me the week I decided not to go to Poland is, to my shamanic mind, a confirmation that I made the right decision about Poland. There's bad blood between Poland's oversoul and me.
When I posted about the possibility of going, some of you were all for it, others tried to dissuade me. Life is short, way too short for arduous karma, hey? I say hey. Happy Friday. Shalom.
*What my brother said was, "Well ... we could go to Poland ... or we could swim with the whales in Maui!" Oh yeah. L'chaim indeed!
8 comments:
wow. if ever there was a confirmation of a decision, that was it. I can see how centers of energy can be a big draw for you but giving in to a center of bad energy, I just can't see the benefit. why risk drowning in all that misery.
Maybe if I'd gone when I was younger and more willing to take an energetic beating, it would have been fine. But now? I'm heading into my golden years. Do I need to invest more time and energy into flopping around? No way.
Hi soul sister. I'm presently half-way through a book by Lily Brett,an Australian-American-Polish mix of a book..."She was in Poland again. In Warsaw. What was she doing in Poland? It was a good question. She hadn't come on a whim. She had spent two years talking with her father, eighty-one year old Edek Rothwax, into joining her on this trip. He was flying in from Melbourne tomorrow..."
Although published by Picador in just over ten years ago I think you'd like the book by this Australian author based in New York, titled "Too Many Men' (half-way through I'm yet to see the relevance of the title!)
Funny how you can be turned off a nationality. I'm sure there are many yobbo Australians who have given the impression that Australians are crass and uncouth."Ocker" is the term we use for them here.
I'd always loved Italians and the food and language until I had the crazy Italian landlady from hell and her psychotic mother!! Crazy stuff.Forced a decision to buy our own home though, so maybe as you say,people can divert you from a path for some reason,often for the good.
Maybe read the book - cheaper than the travel!x
Pam we are definitely sister in so many ways. Separated on earth, definitely, but we are related.
Right now I am steering a wide circle away from all things Polish, making a break from all that energy. I'll get back to reading books, but a trip there? I don't see it.
Instead I'll swim with the whales in Maui!
I do think Poland's dark history has saddled it with negative energy, though maybe it's just negative cultural baggage. In any case, it's never been high on my list of places to go. It IS fascinating that those personal ruptures occurred at the same time you decided not to make that trip!
Interesting how events seem to conspire to influence us. Better to pay attention to the inner stirrings than ignore them.
Wow. It's amazing how once a decision is made, even if it is only in one's soul and yet to be spoken- the universe turns on it, like a pivot, and everything changes.
I can see you happily swimming with the whales. I have had many journeys where I was swimming with dolphins and whales- to do that in "real" life would be so amazing.
Post a Comment