Friday, August 19, 2011
Yes I am philosophical by nature, I like to think about things, find meaning. But the truth is, if I took the time to contemplate every one of life's experiences, honestly, there would be no time to do the laundry, cook dinner, or focus on other people such as my family, friends, neighbors and clients.
One of my spirit guides told me long ago that the secret to mastery is in being able to discern which of life's unfoldings is worthy of attention. I've been working with discernment for many years. Though I am improving, it is slow work, at least for me. Boundaries are a bitch.
It's easy enough to dismiss small things in which I am not interested, such as the mailman Kenny returning from Vegas a little bit richer than when he went. Hardly anyone walks away from a gambling vacation the better for it. It's notable. I could put some time into the benefits of taking risks. But I already know about risk taking, for god's sake, hence this doesn't seem worthy of much thought.
But some experiences stand out. This morning I'm thinking - again - about Poland, about how I was powerfully drawn to go there for so many years, how I tried to talk my sibs into going with me, but none of them was the least bit interested.* I'm thinking about how I befriended a Polish woman a couple of years ago, how we merrily planned to go to Krakow together. We planned to go next month, September 2011. We decided on the dates of travel last summer I believe.
Then what happened? I'm still wondering. Perhaps an angel took me by the shoulders, whispered a truth to me, or Lady Fortuna set me on a slightly different tragectory. A divine source opened my eyes.
I am what a friend calls an "energy whore." Yeah. I'll head right for intense energy whether that energy is "good" or "bad." As long as it is powerful, that's all I care about. Is there a twelve-step program for this addiction? It came me out of the nowhere, the reality check: Poland is my black hole, my armageddon. It is a land with which I have LOTS of arduous karma, and - may I point out - I'm not the only one! Whoa.
Just as I was deciding I really shouldn't ever go to Poland, suddenly the friend with whom I was supposed to go turned hostile towards me, picked arguments every time we got together. When I called her on it, she turned the cold shoulder and that was it. Snap. Our friendship was over. That was weird enough, but within the very same week, a longtime client, also Polish, pulled a fast one on me. It was very weird; I worked with her every other week for years - nothing like it had ever happened. When I called her on it she became extremely hostile. I haven't seen either one of them and doubt seriously I will ever hear from them again.
OK, by anyone's standards, a coincidence like that bears examination. What I'm thinking about this morning is how the land gets into people, the landscape with which people identify becomes a part of their identity and soul. That the only two Polish people I know would turn on me the week I decided not to go to Poland is, to my shamanic mind, a confirmation that I made the right decision about Poland. There's bad blood between Poland's oversoul and me.
When I posted about the possibility of going, some of you were all for it, others tried to dissuade me. Life is short, way too short for arduous karma, hey? I say hey. Happy Friday. Shalom.
*What my brother said was, "Well ... we could go to Poland ... or we could swim with the whales in Maui!" Oh yeah. L'chaim indeed!