Early spring, 2004
Oh man I LOVED this tree. It was one of the most graceful, perfectly formed trees I've ever seen. Lucky for me, this tree spent its life in the triangle park kitty-corner across the street from the house on Tennessee Avenue, hence I was able to watch it through all the seasons of the decade I lived there. It was gorgeous, always, providing shade in the summer, and an intricate criss-cross of branches in the winter. It harbored many a squirrel nest, oh yeah. I bet the view from up there was incredible. I saw a raccoon hiding in the crook of its branches once. It was a lively tree with many stories.
Looking back through my pictures for shots of it in various seasons, I of course also came across many pictures of Jake, my dog who died a couple of years ago. Flipping through the pictures was like looking at a time-lapse sequence of my years on Tennessee Avenue. I saw pics of the neighborhood kids as toddlers, elementary school kids, entering their awkward middle school years. Now those kids are in high school and they are suave, debonnaire and very cool with their Elvis Costello glasses and iphones. Wow.
Fall, 2007
This past spring, the magnificent tree bloomed as usual: poofed, then settled down into its almost perfectly round leaf hairdo. But something happened over the summer, I don't know what. About a week ago I noticed all the leaves were dry and brown.
A lot of trees die slowly, or, after they die, they remain in the ground for awhile before the District tree people come round to take them down. They're ghostly after death, still upright, but not there energetically. It's a very odd vibration.
But in the case of this tree, the city got right on it, cut it down yesterday.
The death of the tree resonates. What I've been wondering lately is whether this blog has reached the end of its lifespan. I've been asking myself if it should be taken down and turned into mulch. The blog has had a great run, but in truth, I'm tired of it. Not of the people who read it, no, never. And I'm not at all tired of writing and posting, but I am tired of my blog persona here. Is that weird?
Just before Snowmaggedon, 2009
I've made no secret of the fact that I try my best to show only my most noble side here. Though I don't always succeed, especially lately, I have tried to avoid being snarky or morose, boring, or worst of all: petty.
Just like every human being, I am not always philosophical, I'm not alway in the mood to see if I can be inspired by something - anything. My first blog was very personal and terribly snarky. I decided to take the high road with this blog. More or less I have succeeded. But NOW what? I've been asking myself. Well?
It's funny, hey? That I've become tired of showing only this particular face publicly. It's a true face, a big part of me for sure. I'm trying to figure out what to do - close the blog? Not quite ready for that, nor do I seem ready to take a blog break, something I've been threatening to do for awhile.
It's an interesting process. Who knows where it will lead? Who knows?
Happy Wednesday, y'all. Shalom.
Yesterday, taken with the iphone
10 comments:
Maybe just post less often. I manage about every other day. And perhaps blend the two, not the worst all the time, not the best all the time but the who you are on the day you post, the complete you.
Sad about the tree. So many have died here due to the drought.
I like reading about your flashes of insight - but I can understand not wanting to share them all the time. But I like Ellen's idea. You know we'd miss you :)
The tree has left a big empty space hasn't it? Should you decide to end this blog-which is so unique- it would also leave an empty space. Your thoughts and photos are always thought-provoking and from the heart. So I hope you continue.
With that said I know it's easy to get locked into a certain persona online. I bet none of us show our whole selves.
I understand the evolution of how we wish to be online - most blogs do not survive as long as this one! I have evolved through several blogs. Maybe you could have another blog and let some of the other sides of you out to air?
I'm just sitting with it all. Yes there would be a huge empty space if I closed the blog. When I quit the last one, I was at loose ends for month until I started posting again.
I'll bet it's hard to know exactly how to make a change when it's been such a constant thing for such a long time. A beautiful constant thing, I might add.
I started to lose interest in my blogs almost as soon as I moved back into my house. I just finished a month of attempting to reactivate myself with daily posts, inspired in part by daily writers like you. I'm still sort of not feeling it though.
I will very much miss seeing your thoughtful words and photography each day should you decide to take a break. If you end up starting down a new path, with a new blog, I do hope you'll let all of us know about it! Until then, I'll be looking forward to your next post, as always.
You are so right about everything having a lifespan. My blog has about run its course as well. I think when I get to 700 blog posts it will be time to move on. I'm at 651 now.
You bring so much to your writing - it will be missed by this reader for sure, but I do understand the need to evolve in a new way. My daughter says blogging is on its way out, just as many other social media outlets have in the past. Maybe it means we are meant to use that creative energy in a new way...
Even when I have no time for much else, when I see your new title, I always turn to your blog first, Reya. You have inspired me greatly, not only by your words but, how can I say it, what`s behind it. I really don`t expect to see your whole self, do you even know it?, but what you share and how you do it, makes me feel I want to spin your thread on. So yes, of course I can understand that you want to just walk away, whistling, and I might soon do that myself, but I would like to stay in touch with you somehow. Or find a new blog post at least once in a while.
Okay, selfishly (and that's a trait I claim unapologetically) I don't want to see you go! If you must transform or stop and start again, please leave a little trail of bread crumbs...Your posts often help me tap into my more evolved bits or help me clarify my more elusive emotions. Whatever you do or don't do, I've certainly enjoyed your posts. Even if it's your better self, thank you for sharing:) And thanks for sharing that you've not shown your snarkier side; I feel better knowing you aren't always so tuned in!
What a coincidence. We just had to have two trees in front of our house taken down because the insurance company was going to drop us if we didn't. The trees were old and they were about two feet from the house, so I suppose they were something of a danger, but I'm still sad they're gone.
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