Both pics taken with the iphone. The pic at the bottom of the post is funny, I think. Inadvertent. Look at those pursed lips. My goodness.
August is well underway, a good thing actually because once August is done, most of the DC summer will be done. Oh yeah! Though I have many friends born this month, as well as a prominent Leo rising as part of my astrology chart, August is my least favorite month of the year.
In August, my stomach hurts no matter what I do or do not eat (the sufi acupuncturist says it's the damp heat). I have the weirdest dreams of the whole year in August (checked my dream journals yesterday to confirm that this theory is actually true). The blazing heat and high humidity combined with palpably shorter days is a real bummer, I tell ya.
It's not all bad, though. In August, Washington DC is quiet. Lots of people leave town so there is less traffic, less noise. It used to be that the tourists vamoosed in August, too, but I saw lots of tourists yesterday while I was out walking around on the National Mall. Definitely there are fewer tourists in August, so that's good.
One of my theories revolves around the idea that August is a month well suited for detox. I think we should ALL get out of town for the month, allow the swamp in which we live to boil undisturbed for a few weeks, thereby cleansing itself. Getting out of town, as so many of us do, breaks the routines of our lives, allowing us a chance to let go of the usual thought and behavior patterns. This kind of break is definitely one form of detox.
Perhaps this process I am now in the midst of is some kind of internal cleansing. As with all types of rehab, it is not comfortable, but it's dawning on me that the flopping around and dissatisfaction is opening a space in which I might lay to rest yet another layer of uptightness. I've tried hard to be noble and upstanding here on the blog, for instance, as a way of mitigating a tendency towards shame about who I am. Maybe I'm ready to lay down the burden of shame, and in so doing, become more authentic without apology or the need to always be high minded.
Wouldn't that be nice?
9 comments:
I don't care if you are always high-minded, noble or upstanding ~ I'm certainly not! Why not whine a bit or be cranky when that's how you're feeling?
I actually find it tedious being around people who believe (or at least act) as if everything is "all good, all the time".
Sometimes it's not, and we can't process where we are and get back to the good stuff without at least acknowledging and spending some time with the discontent.
I'm just glad to be sharing the journey with you through your writings.
Oh yes, nice but mostly a relief. know thyself, be thyself. It is so much easier to be who you are instead of trying to hide or disguise. We will love the whole Reya.
Shelley I agree with you - constantly positive people are rather exhausting.
Ellen you already know the whole me. You do. x
I'm a great believer of the 'warts and all' theory of life!
Be grumpy, imperfect etc etc -- much more 'normal' than anything else
that's why I like your blog: such honesty
See Byron, Lord --will get the quote to put in next comment.....
oxox
Perfect she was, but as perfection is
Insipid in this naughty world of ours,
Where our first parents never learned to kiss
Till they were exiled from their earlier bowers,
Where all was peace, and innocence, and bliss
(I wonder how they got through the twelve hours),
Don José, like a lineal son of Eve,
Went plucking various fruit without her leave.
HAPPY WEEKEND!
You are the only person I know who can continue to look gorgeous even with pursed lips!
Go ahead and be moody in August. Heaven knows you are entitled to grouse a little bit one month out of twelve!
Shame for who you are? How many of us aspire to be anywhere in the same universe with you?
much love to you today, along with wishes that your tummy won't hurt for the rest of this month!
Elizabeth that is sublime. Wow.
Jo. <3. x
I'm not sure a desire to be "high-minded" is necessarily about shame -- though you're certainly in a position to know what motivates your desires. I struggle with the same concerns about inauthenticity, but at the same time I want to reach higher, and rise above my baser instincts. Isn't that healthy?
That bottom photo IS great. :)
Steve I love your perspective. Yes being AUTHENTICALLY high minded is the best possible goal. What I do sometimes is cover up what I'm really authentically feeling, substitute some high minded idea as camouflage.
Is that misspelled?
Fake high mindedness is not healthy, hey? I say hey.
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