Sunday, May 15, 2011

Excommunicated



My first meditation teacher, the great Jack Kornfield, believes spiritual communities are meant to "ripen" us individually and collectively. I really love that idea so much. I believe it, too, even though it doesn't always work out as gracefully as it might.

For a long time I was part of the Reclaiming community in San Francisco. We did not gather in a church or temple, but we did gather, every eight weeks or so, at the beach or in a rented room in the Women's Building or at the pier in the Marina, to celebrate the turning of the wheel of the seasons. I never missed one of those rituals.

After I left all that behind, I studied Judaism at Temple Micah here in DC for a couple of years. I really loved that community as well, but I struggled with Judaism, even way way way Reform Judaism, because of the Torah. I hate the Torah; most of it makes no sense to me at all. Much of it is very disturbing and presents God as some kind of egomaniacal, bi-polar psycho killer. This is not the God I worship, nope. The fact that Jews idolize the Torah really got on my last nerve. Eventually I stopped going to Temple Micah. Square peg, round hole. Sigh.

There are wonderful spiritual communities here on Capitol Hill. St. Mark's, for instance, is a fabulously inclusive, active, community-based Episcopalian congregation. I've attended classes there many a time, but becoming a part of the congregation would ring false on every level. I am so not a Christian.

Like many people, I am spiritual but not religious, which means I'm at odds in one way or another with every established tradition. When I remember all the troubles that come up within spiritual communities, I try to convince myself it's best to commune with Brother Sun and the green world instead; forget the people aspect of worship ... but the truth is, I miss it. I even miss the friction and problems that arise within these communities. Is that crazy? It's such a juicy way to confront the problem of ethics. Those awkward interactions among people in spiritual community helped "ripen" me every time I took part. I miss that.

At least I'm missing my old communities this Sunday morning because my first two clients cancelled their sessions at the last minute. I'm thinking about how other people spend their Sunday mornings, at church or perhaps engaging in other Sunday rituals like reading The New York Times while drinking coffee. My Sunday morning ritual involves getting up and going to work, but not today. Today maybe I'll take a lot longer meditating and praying than I usually do. Yes? I say yes.

Happy Sunday. Shalom.

19 comments:

Harlequin said...

I envy those who have a physical church or temple to go to on a regular basis. As a Feri Witch, I do most of my stuff alone and it can be pretty lonely, as well as freeing. I think it would be nice to just be able to go somewhere once a week and listen to a spiritually inspirational talk. Sigh.

Reya Mellicker said...

Yep. It sure would. I heard a lot of great sermons at Temple Micah, and participated in many wonderful rituals with Reclaiming.

Now I read Pema Chodron books.

Reya Mellicker said...

I miss singing in a group. That was so uplifting and powerful.

ellen abbott said...

I don't miss organized religion at all.

Jinksy said...

Your two photos are combined meditations and prayers all on their own - no help from anything but your ability to see them as such! They sing their own wordless songs, in which I'm sure you join... :)
Happy Singing Sunday, Blogpal!

Reya Mellicker said...

Thanks Jinksy! I'm going to take that in.

Pauline said...

it seems from reading here that all of your life is a meditation and a prayer. You and your surroundings are your own church/temple. I like that approach. I do it, too.

Reya Mellicker said...

Pauline I was thinking about you as I wrote this post. You definitely do it beautifully.

I'm really interested in, and connecting with, community of various kinds recently. Maybe my introversion is turning itself inside out, maybe I'm moving towards more extraversion. Interesting.

tut-tut said...

Very nice to mediate on this today. But I doubt I'll ever return to an organized group.

Cyndy said...

It sounds like the Unitarian Universalist approach might work for you.

Barbara said...

I can so relate to this post. I miss the community and ritual aspects of participating in an organized religion. It has been many years. What I don't miss is the hypocrisy of organized religion. So I too am spiritual but no longer religious. Sometimes that makes me sad.

Peace!

The Bug said...

I was sitting in church this morning wondering why I wanted to quit going - when I'm there I am so THERE. Lovely people. Great old hymns. A chance to work on being in community. When I'm not there all that doubt about hypocrisy & wondering what I really believe kicks in. It's a conundrum, it really is - and I guess the right thing is to just keep struggling with it & never be satisfied to just do nothing.

Meri said...

My "religion" celebrates the perfection of raindrops glistening on peony blossoms, an extra-foamy chai, the aerial acrobatics of hummingbirds, the way the world smells fresh and clean after the rain. And though my exposure was Old Testament rather than Torah per se, I agree with you. Not mine, either. . .

Reya Mellicker said...

The Torah is the first five books of the "old testament" or the Jewish bible, as we jews refer to it.

I'm so curious about what it originally conveyed. I'm positive that I don't know enough about that historical period to really get it. Also the books have been translated so many time by so many individuals with very specific agendas, that the contemporary English translations are, to me, the tower of babble. I wonder what the people who wrote those books REALLY wanted to say?

Kerry said...

Positively gorgeous photos, Reya. Those peonies! It looks like you were in an amazing garden or arboretum.

OK, it's funny, but I just wrote about "church." For us, it seems to mean getting away from people, separating from that community. hmmm.

Reya Mellicker said...

Wow. Going to check your blog now, Kerry. Love being on a wavelength with you.

The peonies in the pic are in my front yard. Isn't that something??

steven said...

reya when i think back on the church experience of my childhood and into my teenage years i see it as a neccesary parallel line to going to school. neither were capable of providing a place to end in terms of the work and journey of becoming but both provided the most important gift of all - the gift of knowing that i need to know more. about the world and every other possible world. about religion. about my own spiritual self. about my purpose. so for that i'm grateful. the flowers in your photographs are so simply beautiful reya i am finding it hard to not keep staring at them! steven

Dan Gurney said...

Ah! Jack's one of my teachers too! I go to Spirit Rock when I go on retreat; Jack's place. There's the connection!

Reya Mellicker said...

Dan, I studied with Jack before Spirit Rock existed, when he taught in San Anselmo in a big room of a borrowed building. I remember when they were building Spirit Rock. Very cool.