Wednesday, May 18, 2011


Yesterday I swapped the storm door for the screen door, replaced my comforter with a summer weight blanket. Other signs that summer is just around the corner include the fact that I've heard and seen a few fellows riding around on their Harleys. On Memorial Day weekend, Rolling Thunder comes through Washington DC. That is always the clarion call of summer, oh yeah.

Spring 2011 was a time of massive personal revelation, beginning during the cherry bloom when two dear friends came to visit, continuing throughout the season. In so many ways I feel like a different person than I was last winter. Has that ever happened to you?

Deep truths on which I thought I had a secure grip slid through my fingers, becoming so much water under the bridge. Wow. One example of a complete change of perspective revolves around what was once my great longing to visit Poland. In my mind that longing sounded so noble, but a series of insights revealed to me that, actually, the attraction was coming from a side of myself that can be very destructive. I could say more about this. Should I?

Also, incredibly - miraculously! - I am suddenly unhinged from my ageism. What I used to espouse was that old is "good" and young is "bad." I called myself old (have been doing that since I was 35) until just recently. I've realized that every age has its bonuses and curses and while I feel more comfortable in middle age than I did when I was younger, that does not mean getting older is "better" than being younger. For heaven's sake! Many thanks to the people who have been tapping me on the shoulder, speaking to my closeted ageism, thank you so much for helping me move through that! You know who you are. THANK YOU!

There were many more revelations, but you get the idea, yes?

The intention of remaining open and curious is one of my founding principles, but I'm not as good at it as I think I am, or at least as good as I think I SHOULD be. This spring was a season in which I opened doors within my heart and mind that long ago I closed and locked securely. Wow. I am grateful beyond belief, humbled like you can't imagine, and, too, refreshed. Onwards and upwards to summer!


ellen abbott said...

open those doors! get some fresh air in!

Jo said...

Wow...those are beautiful depictions of judgement in the tarot side bar! And adding the link to the explanation is amazing.

Reya, you rock!

That's all. That's so much.

P.S. Don't rush into're not finished with the new growth of Spring just yet. ;-)

Reya Mellicker said...

I'm not rushing, oh no. I like this refreshing breeze blowing through my mind/heart, oh yeah.

Jo, YOU rock! You, too, Ellen. What would I do without minds like yours to help dig me out of my entrenchments?

Reya Mellicker said...

That Coltrane piece is so incredible. It's not dinner music, nope. In order to really hear it, I just have to sit down and do nothing but listen.

There used to be a John Coltrane church in San Francisco. The congregation listens to his music from which they take all kinds of wisdom and insight. Oh yeah!!

linda said...

I have so enjoyed the Tarot lesson on your sidebar!

Spring has always been the season for re-birth and new growth. Is it coincidence?

I'm glad you've come out of your 'closet'. You're a wise and beautiful woman, which actually makes you age-less.

Rock on!

Reya Mellicker said...

Of course you, Linda and Jo, were CENTRAL to this season of revelations. THANK YOU both so so so much!!

Jinksy said...

What a tempting puddle - I might have to jump in it! :)

Reya Mellicker said...

Jinxy, please do! I love this picture. It's so restrained compared to most of my pics. It's subtle.

Elizabeth said...

Your peony photo below was a stunner!

As for age -- well--depends where you're coming from

each age has its own delights ---and drawbacks

just read Patti Smith's JUST KIDS
of boy, did it bring it all back in spades
good and bad

Linda Sue said...

Screen door makes me so glad! We don't even have one- either the door is open (rare) or the door is shut (often)
I am liking age at the moment- it is a freedom from the insecurity of trying to impress- it is discount on tuesdays, it is being quite invisible, like a fly on the wall- listening, watching and in my mind glad that I am not part of the game.Did that- am done.

mouse (aka kimy) said...

you should if you feel the need

there is so much revelation in this post....but there is still tantalizing reya mysteries

our spring is being quite the tease!

onwards and upwards


steven said...

my favourite days are the days when the windows and doors are open and the wind is blowing through and papers and bits and pieces of stuff are getting blown all over the place and it's like someone's said "hey!" a few times until i could hear them. i figure life's a lot like that too reya. steven

Reya Mellicker said...

Steven, as usual you have said this perfectly. With the screen door (instead of the storm door), and all the windows open today, the breeze blew a sweet, soft air through the chateau. I kept saying YEAH and OH YEAH over and over again.