Friday, November 19, 2010

Secret Lives



My mother loved Danny Kaye. I mean really what's not to love? God, he was SO GAY. All gay people were closeted at that time. It must have been so hard.

I remember, on National Coming Out Day sometime in the mid-1990's, when I admitted to the people I worked with at that time, that I was a witch. It was a really big deal - much bigger than I thought it would be. The experience was not only exhiliarating but exhausting, and to be honest, a little bit traumatic. Even in San Francisco at the height of the revival of post-modern witchcraft, revealing such a deep truth about myself was a rite of passage.

Everybody carries at least a few shameful personal secrets, right? Some personal secrets aren't shameful, but in the mind of the keeper of the secret, they aren't anybody else's business, so best held close to the chest as they say. There are also professional secrets. I can't talk about what I experience at work, after all.

Last night I was wondering about the impact, energetically and emotionally, of keeping quiet. What changes when we confide in others, what happens when we at last voice what has been stuffed into dark corners of our hearts? It's interesting to think about.

Not that I think everyone should reveal everything - oh no. I really have no desire to know everyone's deepest secrets! That said, it's always an honor to be seen as trustworthy, right? Witnessing deep secrets is a responsibility, one I take on in my profession every day.

Are you a secretive person? I'm both secretive and very open, paradoxical, don't you know. What's your story?

The following vid is long but just so hilarious. Oh Danny Kaye, you were such a sweetheart! Bless your heart. xxoo

11 comments:

glnroz said...

me? totally open,,slam. :)

ellen abbott said...

I guess I'm totally open. I can't think Of any 'secret' that I wouldn't reveal. That doesn't mean I just blab everything about me but if a conversation wends it way to certain things and I feel comfortable, I'll talk.

Lizzy Frizzfrock said...

Oh but I have a few "secrets"; at least some things that I would not feel comfortable talking about in anything but the most quiet setting and with a trusted companion. Don't we all have some things that we'd prefer not to share?
Love the video & I always loved to watch Danny Kaye.

jeanette from everton terrace said...

I loved watching old Danny Kaye movies when I was little. That clip was fantastic. Don't think I appreciated the pellet with the poison banter when I was younger - it's was so well done. It NEVER crossed my mind that he might have been gay, isn't that funny? So many great actors in just that one clip - loved it.
I am like you, very open but I don't talk about everything. I wouldn't call them "secrets" really, just things people don't know that don't need to be brought up.

Deborah said...

I've written two fam letters in my life. One to Danny Kaye for his work with children around the world. One to Robert Redford for his politics and directing genius. Thx for the Danny Kaye. Love you.

Karen said...

Oh man, I remember seeing "The Wizard of Oz" AFTER I had a consciousness of what "gay" meant; it was like seeing a ginormous, totally new side of a movie I'd seen a million times before. All her helpers are gay! What an interesting story...

Re. secrets: sometimes I wonder how much of the "not safe to tell this" feeling is imagined, and how much of it is real. Hm.

Whitney Lee said...

I remember the last big secret I kept. It made me sick. Literally. After coming clean I finally got better. It's amazing how some secrets are like poison. I'm pretty open now; there's not much I feel isn't appropriate for general consumption. Does that make me boring?

Cyndy said...

There's plenty of stuff I won't talk about - I can be pretty private about my private stuff. That's probably one of the reasons I'm such an infrequent blogger.

Linda Sue said...

I'm with Ellen- I have no secrets because everything is fair game- just out there- nothing to hide, though, for some folk's comfort I might do well to keep my mouth shut sometimes. I can not imagine anyone being upset because you said you were a witch unless, of course, they are ill educated about what "witch" is...

The Bug said...

Oh I have some secrets only known by a select few people - and those will stay that way because they involve other people who don't need to be hurt by my blabbing.

LOVED the video clip! And now I'm sad that I'm not watching the whole movie.

Kerry said...

I got so into this movie clip I totally forgot your question. Secrets? I'm not sure. I think I'm just really quiet, and that's different.