Thursday, November 5, 2009

Re-entry



I cried over beautiful things knowing no beautiful thing lasts. --Carl Sandburg

The exquisite slow-motion fall of the midatlantic has passed its peak. There's still lots of autumn color out there to be sure, but upon careful examination I can say with confidence that the point of greatest color is over. Tonight it's supposed to get down in the 30s, almost down to freezing, which means the last of the mosquitoes will finally be gone for the season.

We had a beautiful summer I could not in any way enjoy because of Jake's death, and a beautiful fall I have been almost afraid to appreciate (for fear it would bring back the sadness and grief of last summer). But the wheel of the year is turning, whether or not I take notice, so this week, I opened my eyes and ears, took my time, connected with the weather and the season.

Twice this week I walked like I used to with Jake, strolls that included frequent stops, a lot of sky gazing, tree gazing, street gazing. It was really great. All that looking around, listening, and sniffing the air helped me relocate myself in space/time. Does that make any sense? I even dared to look at the world of reflections a bit, reminding myself that Jake would not appear in any of the reflections.

It was OK. More than OK, actually. I am healing - at my own pace - but it is happening. Life is good and I am grateful. Onwards & upwards to winter.


Tennessee Avenue in late afternoon which, at this time of year is about 3:30 p.m.

22 comments:

Steve said...

I'm glad you're walking and enjoying the walks. You don't need a dog to walk the dog, you know? :)

Reya Mellicker said...

So I'm discovering!

Joanne said...

I'm a walker, and can't say enough good things about it. I walk wherever and whenever I can. The things we see on our walks, outward AND inward, are amazing. It's such a perfect way to connect with the world around us, with ease.

ellen abbott said...

We heal in spite of ourselves. Strolling, lingering, gazing...all good stuff.

lakeviewer said...

From the look of trees, you have a couple of weeks before they are bare and winter winds will break their branches. We have evergreen, mostly. So, except for a few bare trees, we are green all year round. In the mountains, those same trees will look like Christmas lane any day now.

Glad to know you got out on your own and enjoyed the re-entry.

John Hayes said...

That's great that you're able to enjoy those leisurely walks again!

Lori ann said...

What an exquistly beautiful post Reya, your words and the falling leaves photo. Hugs to you.

Nancy said...

So happy that you are healing, as nature intends, just as the Spring comes again, making the trees full once more. We are all part of a cycle, I think.

Your pictures have been lovely.

Bee said...

Your photos are so very beautiful in this one, Reya. And a bit poignant, too -- but fall always strikes me that way. Interesting that your grieving and the season have both passed their peak.

Reya Mellicker said...

Wow, Bee you are so smart! Thanks for that insight.

Alaine said...

I'm glad you're healing, Reya. I know it takes such a long time. You have a beautiful place in which to walk (and interesting!).

It's 6:40am here and I'm off for my walk at 7; love it. xa

Barbara Martin said...

Walking in nature is very important for you soul, Reya. I'm glad to hear that you're getting out and about.

Barry said...

Wonderful news Reya. It took about 6 months and a new puppy before my brother and his wife could get over the loss of their dog Jasper.

Now the new puppy is such a demanding pain they have no time for grief.

Keep On Truckn' Reya!

steven said...

reya i love the way light dives deeper on some trees than on others. just like people. late afternoon around three thirty - you're so very right!!!! what i love about that is that as i ride up the last hill on my way home, the sun is doing all sorts of amazing, spectacular, subtle things in the sky but low down where the clouds and dust and colours are already at play!!!! this way i get to see the sunsets face-on. have a lovely evening in dc reya. steven

Elizabeth said...

I have walked about a gazillion miles today.
EXHAUSTED.
need to do country walks instead.

Ronda Laveen said...

Your pictures have a different quality today. You are back in them. No, the wheel does not stop and will bump us along, one spoke at a time, if we don't keep up.

"All that looking around, listening, and sniffing the air helped me relocate myself in space/time. Does that make any sense?" Makes total sense to me.

"I even dared to look at the world of reflections a bit, reminding myself that Jake would not appear in any of the reflections." This made my heart catch in my throat. No, he won't appear in them but he may tell you whether he likes them or not.

xxoo

Reya Mellicker said...

Yes, Ronda, I am "back in them." Thank you for always noticing the most helpful things, and for being able to articulate your insights. I really appreciate it! Thank you somuch.

madtexter (corey james) said...

The leaves here in the south are not quite at their peak, but soon, then they're gone in a split-second. I was thinking the other day about how much I consider myself a summer person, but now realize that is not the case anymore. I'm an autumn person now. And since living in the south for two years now, and not experiencing any significant snow, I'm beginning to miss winter a lot. I once took the magic and stately nature of Winter for granted.

Reya Mellicker said...

I love winter!

Verily I go. said...

This is, beautiful Reya.

Shaista said...

I love this quote by Sandburg - and yet the opposite is true too; Laugh over every beautiful thing, because in the absence of one, another appears.
How seasons do pass us by at certain times, and how extraordinary to notice them again, suddenly.
I feel grateful to know strong women like you.

hele said...

what beauty your posts bring into my life*