Monday, November 9, 2009
180 degree turn
East Capitol and 7th St. SE.
In a dark time, the eye begins to see. --T. Roethke
By the time I finish work these days, it's dark outside. So I'm taking pics at night, and enjoying them very much. The eerie orangeish streetlights reflected from the trees creates such interesting scenes. Some of the recent shots look like they were taken underwater, others appear otherworldly (both pics attached to this post are otherworldly, but I'll post an underwater shot sometime soon).
Only a couple of years ago at this time of year, my habit was to spiral downwards into the dark. I dreaded the early sunsets, tucked myself away in my inner sanctum and ... well ... felt sorry for myself. The holidays brought up in me a profound sadness and loneliness. Always a few chips short of a fish dinner in terms of being mainstream, the holidays, once upon a recent time, reminded me in no uncertain terms that I am a freak.
Something changed last year, though. I can't explain why, but I enjoyed the holidays last year, very much so. Externally the pattern was the same as in years past: the days were short and while everyone else gathered with family, children, partners and friends, I watched Hugh Grant movies while eating brown rice and steamed veggies (on Thanksgiving) and more Hugh Grant movies on Christmas. Unlike years past, I had fun, felt happy and got a kick out of the movies. Weird, eh?
The most profound transformations - for me at least - are always the result of a change of heart. Having an open mind helps a lot, but there's something about the human heart that can bring about miraculous healings, seemingly from out of the nowhere.
I find myself this year actually looking forward to the holidays. Whatever it was that happened last year was an enduring change of heart. Life is so amazing that way. You just never know what's going to happen. The early sunsets are providing me with new ways to look at the world, and some fun photos as well, and I'm looking forward to the holidays. All I can say is: wow.
N. Carolina, close to Eastern Market.