Life is full of surprises. And though I believe that in some metaphorical way all the "dots" are connected in a big complex pattern, in practice I think that no one, not even Garrett Lisi can knit life's unexpected junctures (and disjunctures) into a unified, explainable theory of everything.
Though some surprises are not as fun as others, I prefer a world that's mostly mysterious, I prefer a life in which every time I turn a corner I'm greeted by something I didn't expect. I love learning things I don't already know. I like the internal seismic vibration of HUH? that accompanies new revelations. You know that A-Ha! feeling? It's invigorating - well, at least for me.
Included in this past week's surprise gifts are a whole bunch of small - but significant - soul retrievals. I'm regaining my narrative of trust in other people, something I haven't felt in a number of years. It's no surprise that the personal betrayal I experienced at the end of my last romance took it's toll. It was a love triangle in which I lost my partner, one of my best friends, my house and the life I'd lived for years. The emotional damage was extensive, whew! What a great surprise to understand that I can heal even from something as awful as that! Took awhile and a whole lot of work, but I'm almost there. With the help of very old friends, I'm about to get over the last of it. Oh yeah!
Cheers to the human heart! Bravo to old friends whom I trust, with whom I feel "safe" enough to be as uncool I really am. Bravo!! And thanks.
34 comments:
WOW WOW! I'm so sorry about the poop in your life. You are not 'uncool'! Weirdo, maybe. Come on, smile, I know.....Aquarius. I'm happy for you too. I love that pic.
I feel uplifted just reading your words today! Makes me want to go out and learn/meet/discover something new. P.S. One always earns "cool" points for owning their "uncoolness!" Have a nice weekend.
Good for you ! Life does seem to throw stuff and all we really can do it keep walking over it. Time. Heals all things. There goes Mom again. At our age, it might just be that with time our memory fades a bit. Either way, life is grand and you deserve to enjoy it !!! Now, take that pup for a walk and look at the beauty around you.
Life really throws a lot of emotional challenges our way sometimes. I am sorry to hear that you were so damaged, and happy to hear that you recovered from it stronger than ever before. :)
Ha! I see you're also into physics today. Love the Garrett Lisi article (you'll want to check the link, though, the tag is broken.)
Glad to hear you're coming out of your personal version of the collider. Those experiences re-organize the pieces, don't they? Provide new patterns for the internal kaleidoscope, that's for sure.
Hope it's a great weekend in Washington, Reya.
That does sound like a hideous thing to come back from, but very glad you're feeling healed because you have such a lot of positive energy to share. I don't know if this fits the situation, but lately I've been thinking a lot about how the story of my life is mine to tell-- I don't have to allow other people to sway me to their version of reality (not that I don't appreciate reality checks!) But I think I spent a lot of my life believing that I must be wrong & others must be right about my life's narrative.
My God, Look how thin and gorgeous you are in that photo! The ex really missed out on the fabulousness of you. Something good is coming. I can feel it.
It's a wonderful feeling to realize you've survived something as awful as that and your life is not ruined forever. When you get back on track it feels even better than it did before and you just can't beat the feeling that you might end up someplace even better. Hurray for the healing of past wounds and the promise of new beginnings!!!
Hi Reya! Just stoping by to say hello. Time does heal all wounds, I can attest to that! I'm still working on the trust issues, I'm glad you have the strength to overcome. It's freeing isn't it?
Bravo to friends whose spirits help buoy us up when we're in danger of going under!
YES John - I spent decades believing other people before myself. I'm so over that one! Thank you for giving me some language to express it.
Our lives are connected in ways we may never be able to conceive. Last night within an hour of my show ending:
1)I found out from my brother that my father was hospitalized for serious internal bleeding and was in the ICU in KC, MO.
2)Our only working car blew a valve cover gasket and burned up.
3)We got another eroneous bill from my mortgage holder that we were behind with our payments.
4)Refused to panic about ANY of this stuff, trusting that the multiverse would take care of everything for us.
5)Talked to my father who had been moved from the ICU to a private room and was doing very well.
6)Had a friend BRING us a Jeep to drive for as long as we needed to do so.
7)Found a car dealer who was willing to find the exact car we were wanting for a price we can afford.
8)Talked with "Billy" from Mumbai and straightened out the banks obvious error.
Full of surprises...yes! Can I explain it...NO!!...but who cares, right?
Here's to life's mysteries. And you're cooler than you realize, Reya!
It's just a shame we can't be a lot younger and know all of this stuff.
I am so glad you got your groove back! Yay!
(Analog Man is one of the old friends I mentioned in the post. Reconnecting with him has been a soul retrieval.)
Isn't it a great feeling when you realize that you've finally ALMOST made it through a bad patch in your life? When that's happened to me, I always am filled with a new level of self-worth because the strength that it took to get me through was strength I didn't know I had! You sound like a very strong woman too, Reya...congrats on moving on!
You??? Uncool??? Not in a million, at least from where I sit. Sorry for all the heartache and the work gettting through it. Best to you and Jake.
Wow, that sounds like a massive betrayal.
Your voice here always gives forth so much light and wisdom . . . you're obviously made of wonderfully resilient stuff, Reya.
(Who is pictured in your first photo? I like your "fun house" self-portrait.)
Yay for Reya! Nothing like being in your groove. Thank goodness for your friends and for the sturdy stuff you're made of.
(The bottom photo rocks!)
Well, all I can say is how STUPID!!! was that nobody, who betrayed you.
New doors will open, and out will walk the right kind of wonderful. Wishing you love and luck on your new groovy journey, Reya.x
OK for the record I am not thin. I'm not fat either, but not tall, not thin.
And I'm NOT cool. Really.
Thanks, though, for all these votes of confidence. Makes me feel great!
The first pic is an ad for glasses. Does it make you want to buy new frames from this place? I think it just looks bizarre - but I like the building reflected back from her surprised face.
My very best as always. I'm glad the hurt is dying.
No! Doesn't make me want to buy frames! Too scary! Looks more like an add for a comedy show or the "Before" picture of a Botox ad.
Hmmm, Soul Retreival. Yes, very important. All the things that trigger us are the pieces we need to reclaim. I know how important integration work is for our being but I am just now understanding how important it is on a soul level.
At that instant when our soul is directed to incarnate or ascend, if our integration isn't complete, we don't get to go out and play with the stars, planets and other universes. There are so many other wonderful places to see.
Glad your groove is syncing. Do you still want to set up the dream work stuff? I almost have computer stuff enough under control to take on new projects. Do you want to communicate via blog comments or e-mail? I couldn't find yours on your site. Mine is linked at mine. Happy Saturday!
I just have to say that all is over with (concerning the betrayal). All is forgiven and all the pain is healed. The last little bit, my hesitancy to trust others with all my weird uncool quirks, is being healed by dear old friends who bring out my awkward side but love me anyway.
I am SO lucky!
You are truly blessed--and a blessing. Thanks, Reya--I'm happy you have your groove back.
And here's to the people who love us, eccentricities and all!
Reya with the purple scarf! Good for you, starting over is extremely difficult. I've done it twice and have come through the dark to a lighter place. Yes, thanks to friends & to the four-legged fuzzy ones too, whether they be canine, feline, or equestrian they all helped.
Look what a love you are, healing others all along when you were needing it too. You are amazing really, nerdy,uncool, whatever you say about yourself, I think you are brilliant.
And you have the cutest curly blonde hair. Hehheh!
♥
I'm glad to hear you've got your groove back.
It takes time to heal from heartbreak, but in the meantime it's helpful to hear stories of that healing from those further along the trail!
And I've always thought you were cool. :-)
your groove was missing? I always thought you were the grooviest chick in blogville.
I love the phrase "narrative of trust" - that's where I like to be...confidence in the myself, other people and the world- and then talk/write about it! In the movie,"How Stella Got Her Groove Back"---Stella went to the Caribbean and enjoyed a young man! Okay, she also found her creative spark in furniture making. Kind of a spring fever fix...I have to go check your link to see what has been the inspiration for you! <3
You are SO funny, Reya!!! You are one of the coolest and grooviest people I know! Thanks for passing along "the groove".
Yay and hooray. We do heal even though we think we never will.
i love those little fore-shortened cars
and i love to hear that you are healing
The human heart is made of very tough stuff, for all it's tender qualities, it is remarkably resilient.
Once broken, it take some time to heal though.
Welcome back.
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