Tuesday, October 28, 2008

First Winter Day



The rain yesterday was cold. The overcast lay low and dull in the sky. I had to keep the lights on all day at work, for the first time this season. Oh yeah, winter is definitely on its way.

In fact, yesterday was the first winter day. I'm sure autumn will return shortly, and reappear often in the coming months. The seasons tend to dance back and forth here especially at the junctures. We'll have some winter days, then a whole week of autumn days, maybe even a summer day or two in November. By December, when all the leaves have fallen, winter will settle in, dark and quiet.



Strangely I am looking forward to the holidays this year. Usually I dread them because as a single woman with no children, and family all so far away, I can't help but notice what a freak I really am. I get lonely, wonder what's wrong with me that I'm so off the mainstream path, etc. etc. It's such a pointless self flagellation, since most of the time, I'm perfectly OK with who I am and how I live. And, it's boring!

Recently, I've been diligently practicing the art of reframing my experiences, thanks to the Sufi acupuncturist who reminds me on a regular basis that "reality" is - as he says - "a leaky boat."

This year I'm reframing my sense of the coming season. I'll gather with others when I feel like it. Otherwise, when I'm home watching Hugh Grant movies, I will remember to be grateful that I'm not having to negotiate long lines at the airport, endure the inevitable family melodramas, or deal with the exhaustion that results from spending time with too many people all at once.

Life is good. I am really learning how to be grateful. At last!

12 comments:

Steve said...

I'm glad you're feeling more comfortable with the holidays. Remember you're always welcome to join me and my friends for Tgiving dinner, if you'd like. :)

It's so dark here today that it seems almost like dusk. It's weird for 10:20 a.m.!

Adrianne said...

First of all, you are so not a freak - you are my wonderful and wise Reya, and absolutely perfect just as you are!

At this point, J and I are planning a quiet Thanksgiving at home, probably just the two of us, so you are most welcome to saunter over and join us.

Yesterday I think the temperature dropped about 15 degrees between the a.m. dog walk and lunch time. I always find it so strange when that happens - isn't it supposed to get warmer as the day goes along? Nope - not with a cold front moving through! It seems a little early for it to be this cold, but it does make for great midday fires.

deborah said...

first frost this morning and a sunny day of 54 degrees awaits

the trees are gorgeous again this year as are your pavement leaves which i just love

the holidays for me are always lots of work with lots of people and noise and
some years it makes me happier and lighter and more energized
and some years it takes all i have to just get through them

but every year i am grateful to be here
grateful for life, health, strengh, home, love and friendship
the discipline of my trials and temptations
the happiness that comes to me out of my labors
and more grateful for my wonderful sisters and brothers
than ever before in my life

all my love to you dearest Reya

deborah said...

please add a t to strengTh above

Lynne said...

We are having strange weather. Very windy and plenty of rain. I wonder how the leaves manage to still hold on. They are using the SNOW word for later on. We shall see. It's pretty hard to believe!

So dark! I love it!

You are not a freak although I can see why you feel "different." I feel that way many times because we decided not to have children. Just a different life path.

Nao Sims said...

"Reality is a leaky boat." Wow, hard to beat Sufi wisdom isn't it? Love this!

Joseph Campbell would call your life "taking the left hand path" while every one else takes the right.

I have always thought that the "left hand path" is the path of the artist and the seeker, it takes incredible courage to traverse it. I have the greatest respect for this path and those who walk it.

As for freaks, they are the most interesting kinds of people.

Appreciate your honesty and your humor here.

willow said...

I like what Nao says about the left hand path! Yes, it does take courage. And I admire your candor and peace about it.

It was a freezing 33 degrees this morning! Brrrrr. And I actually love it!

ArtSparker said...

Well, sister...I'm a single woman facing the Holidays too. My courage seems to vary from day to day at the present time. It seems sometimes that self-awareness of any kind occasionally leads to feelings of freakishness.

Reya Mellicker said...

I love the colder weather, too. I love the four seasons so much - not the hottest summer days or the coldest days of winter, but I love it that the weather varies. That really helps me.

Well said artsparker. "Self awareness of any kind occasionally leads to feelings of freakishness." Oh yeah!

And thank you Steve and Adrianne for the invitations. It means a lot to be welcome at other people's celebrations. THANK YOU!!

Robert said...

You have a Sufi acupuncturist? Way kool!! I have a few good books on Sufism myself... Idries Shah is my fave!!

I hope you enjoyed your first winter day and the days that follow...

Hello Reya.

Janelle said...

you are so unfreaklike..more godlike. you are WONDERFUL WISE INSPIRING BEAUTIFUL REYA FROM WASHINGTON WHO TAKES UNIQUE PHOTOGRAPHS AND WRITES A LIFE CHANGING THOUGHT PROVOKING BLOG, and does a host of other healing, life giving things. so there.
heaps of love and enjoy the dark wet winter..its all suns blazing here, dust whirlwinds and not a cloud in sight...xxx j

Lori ann said...

Reya, I love your description of what it's like to be single and alone. But freak? no. Passionate, eloquent,excellent picture taker, yes.
xx