Monday, September 8, 2008
Let it be
During my wiccan years, I conjured like crazy. I mean, that's the point of being a wiccan - to bend your will and shape energy so as to bring into being whatever it is you wish for.
There are lots of wiccans who do this very well, and don't suffer a bit from the practice. I found the constant shaping of energy burdensome and binding, and addictive, too, which is why conjuring never brought out the best in me.
At the disastrous end of my witchhood, leaving behind my habit of conjuring was like going cold turkey with a serious addiction. I would find myself absentmindedly spellcasting just because that's what I was used to doing. I didn't want to do it, but I kept doing it anyway. Eventually, the habit dropped away, freeing up my time and energy, opening my heart and nourishing my curiosity. Once I could believe that the world didn't need me to control every damn thing, I became a much nicer person. These days I hardly even think of conjuring. I'm free.
Except now, eight weeks before the presidential election, here I am, sitting on my hands to keep myself from trying to create a certain result. (As if it's up to me, as if! For heaven's sake!)
Abundant trust and good humor are signs of spiritual wisdom, says Thomas Moore. Can I trust that whatever is unfolding on the U.S. political front is something that can manifest on its own without my meddling? Can I hold in my mind the truth that the final days of empires are always like this? That the political situation is more complicated than one person can possibly understand?
Am I capable of remembering that political magic tends to only strengthen the patterns already in place, if indeed it works at all? Can I let go of my urge to conjure and instead do something practical, like help register voters in N. Virginia?
Well, can I? ......... One day at a time, Reya, one day at a time.