Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Steady as she goes?



What is your destiny? Do you believe in it? According to my cosmology, destiny is co-created, an ongoing, complicated performance art project, a situation in which my ancestors of blood, spirit and karma play a significant part, also the stars and planets, God (such as that force guides everything more or less) and of course me and my puny human power of free choice (only puny in comparison to the vast forces that shape "reality.")

The path of destiny creates a magnetic tug that pulls me in the direction of its fulfillment. I am drawn towards the landscapes, the work, the people and the situations necessary for its manifestation in this lifetime. Destiny is a river, one of many rivers flowing through the ocean of energy in which we live out our lives on planet earth. Anytime I find myself row, row, rowing my boat gently down the river of destiny, all feels "right" somehow, even when shit happens, as they say. Do you know what I'm talking about?

The path or river of destiny is jammed with crossroads, intersections and off ramps, making possible the use of free will, though when I stray from the path laid out before me, turn right instead of left, for instance, I know it immediately. Suddenly I feel off, I feel wrong. I felt that wrongness throughout my marriage, for instance. Oh yeah.

Earlier in life it was harder to sense, but as I grow older the feeling of offness is much more potent, far more insistent. One of my teachers used to say that the job of the Fates is to guide us back to the river of destiny. Sometimes that guidance is gentle, sometimes not so much! I remember my divorce. Oy vey!

I'm thinking about it today because the Sufi acupuncturist was describing the attributes of Zong Qi yesterday - a gathering of ancestral chi in the chest. He told me about the unfolding of familial jing, the life force energy we literally inherit, the code of DNA that determines hair color and nearsightedness, for instance, also the physical ailments that are characteristic in families. In my family that would include all manner of respiratory stuff: allergies, asthma, colds, etc.

He also spoke of shen, the spirit, how that ethereal river is also part of our inheritance. Those of us who never exactly fit into our families perhaps follow the path of shen inheritance a bit more strongly than the path of jing inheritance. We dance in shamanic alignment with the resonance of Zong Qi when making choices as opposed to sticking with the pattern of inherited jing. It's interesting to think about.

A major component of my destiny involves working with people undergoing trauma. For no logical reason, I am great with women during labor and delivery. How can that be true since I never had children of my own? Don't ask me! I'm also good with very ill people, those facing imminent death, as well as with people following a huge loss, i.e. the death of a beloved.

I am honored to understand this piece of my destiny, and bewildered by it as well. At one time in my life, the situations I'm destined to witness scared the bejesus out of me. That I can now sit with folks experiencing such powerful emotions and physical states is astonishing.

Destiny is incomprehensible! I do my best to keep my hands on the steering wheel, get out of the exit only lanes when possible, keep my eyes on the prize. It seems like the best course of action, but do I understand? No I do not! The older I get, the less I know, that's for sure!

16 comments:

ellen abbott said...

I believe in destiny and free will. I love your description of how they can co-exist. Destiny is the path or the goal we set for ourselves before we incarnate. It's the plan for our lives we set up in order to further our development. But once physical we have the choice to follow that plan or deviate from it. Of course, if we deviate from it, on another go round we will have to set it up again and this time we might choose parameters that make it harder to deviate. I know that in this lifetime Marc and I were meant to travel together. I started looking for him very early in my life only I didn't realize what I was doing until much later. Eventually I took an off ramp and it took a couple of prophetic dreams to get me back on track. When I finally found him, I knew it at once. That doesn't mean it's been easy being together. It's been terribly difficult and there was a number of years when it was pure misery. But we worked our way through that.

Reya Mellicker said...

I bet working through those hard years is a part of both of your destinies.

Life in this form is very challenging. I think that's why, when someone dies, there's always a feeling of relief in the room. It's fun to think about - at least for me.

janis said...

I pray that I follow my destiny without trying to change it...

Meri said...

There are some really thought-provoking ideas here worth chewing on. I'm sharing it on FinallyMe in the Body*Mind*Spirit section. Thanks, Spirit Teacher.

Angela said...

There is suddenly a post of you, Reya, when I idly stop by, that makes me breathe deeply.
"those of us who never fit exactly into our families..." you also have that feeling? And it`s okay?

No wonder that those who are troubled deeply feel understood by you. I`m sure you give them relief, because you have been through it all, too. Not avoiding decisions, even painful ones, but going head-on back to that river of destiny.
It is good when we are allowed to live long enough to feel settled, rowing the boat and enjoying it, feeling at the right spot.
I will have to think more about this.

tut-tut said...

I agree with Janis. Thanks for this post, Reya

Reya Mellicker said...

Angela I can't wait to hear about what comes out of your thoughts on this.

Janis and Tut - sometimes changing it is part of destiny. It seems very convoluted to me, obviously. When I talk about my marriage, I usually fail to mention how much I learned during those years. That's when I started cooking, began in earnest my study of witchcraft and shamanism.

With ,y ex husband, I travelled literally around the world, something I would have never done otherwise I assure you. It was not a waste of time, no way - yet I remain convinced it was not part of my destiny. It was an off ramp that leads to a place where it's hard to see how to get back on track. Eventually I did, but in the meantime, oy vey!

Reya Mellicker said...

Meri - thank you! And you're welcome.

Reya Mellicker said...

Scuse the typos.

nerima roberts said...

Reya,
At 53, I am happier now than when I was in my 20's and 30's...but I still have not yet grasped what my destiny is...sometimes it irks me when I try to think about it and I just draw a blank. A BLANK.
I hope blogging and having conversations like this will help me a bit.
Thank you for the post.

Jo said...

Great food for thought here, Reya.

Who knows which thread in our tapestry might be changed or removed without the whole thing unraveling? Every experience and every person makes an important contribution to our weaving. Some are added by conscious design, and some by serendipity. Which are destined to be there is a thought-provoking question, indeed.

Reya Mellicker said...

Just as with everything, Jo, what I'm describing is a feeling, a resonance.

steven said...

reya - life shows up each morning and i'm compelled to say thankyou before i get the details!!! 'cause later on i might say a little more of this and a lot less of that!!! i got dealt a biggie in the autumn and i'm still trying to work it out and it's one of those tear you up and coat you with candy sort of things so whaddya do?!!! hmmmm i say let it fly...........
your writing today reya - the best piece - elevated even higher than your exceptional thinking/writing - wow! steven

Steve Reed said...

Destiny. Hmmmm. I'll have to think about this one. I don't really believe in destiny in the sense that there's a path we're "meant" to travel. I think our paths are formed each day by the choices we make -- and the choices and circumstances around us -- with no predetermination at all. In other words, I don't think there really is an external destiny -- just intention on our part. Does that make sense?

Angela said...

I just wrote a blog post on this theme. Come for a cup of tea and we`ll talk, Reya!

Reya Mellicker said...

Steve your truth sounds great, it's rational but does not resonate. I love me a paradox of a laid out path within which I make choices. I'm better when I'm on the path, but I do stray, I surely do.

Angela, heading I your direction.

Steven I'm so sorry you got punched and coated - even with candy. Much love to you.