Sunday, January 8, 2012

I should always listen to my sisters

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” ― C.G. Jung

Uncle Carl said so many wise things - wow. The problem with the above is that it's not possible to make the unconscious conscious, not all of it, not even most of it. Just as the universe is made mostly of dark matter and space, so are we mostly unconscious. In fact part of the job description of consciousness is to block out huge swaths of what we perceive and experience. If we were consciously aware of everything we receive through the six senses, if we were conscious of everything that resides in the shadows of ourselves, we'd be reduced to slack-jawed, wide-eyed, drooling beings, unable to do much more than say Oh wow all the time. Thank god for our little buddy the hippocampus, choosing what and what not to notice. Our species would be long gone from planet earth except for it.

We can't make everything conscious, hence there is fate. It's interesting to think about.

My great teachers always said that the key to mastery has nothing to do with how much psychic information a person has access to, it's all in choosing what merits one's attention, because really I could stand outside, gazing at the sky, taking in the shapes, listening to the whispers of Brother Wind all day and night, no problem. But would that help set me in the direction of my soul's purpose? Sometimes, yes, other times, a cigar is just a cigar and a cloud shape is just a cloud shape.

When I've wandered afield, away from the river of my destiny, my emotional responses act as an internal alert system. When something feels off, I can then, with great intention, begin to work my way back to a place in which I'm best able to embody my soul's purpose. Though it would be gratifying to believe my marriage was an important part of my destiny, in my heart of hearts I am at last admitting it was just a big ole waste of time. It felt wrong from the get-go. It did not nourish my heart, body or spirit, did not further my soul's evolution. Can I say it here and then let go once and for all? I gave that man the best years of my life! Ha.

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” ― C.G. Jung

Yeah. There was no reaction, no transformation. Nope.

Many thanks to all who hung in here the last few days as I wrote about my failed marriage. All that talk of destiny was my way of sounding high minded, but really it was navel gazing. I'm now accepting what my marriage was - and wasn't. I feel at last I can put that chapter of my life back on the bookcase where those memories can gather dust into perpetuity. It no longer merits my attention. Was it boring? Probably. Thanks for listening and happy Sunday. Shalom.

“We cannot change anything unless we accept it.”
― C.G. Jung


ellen abbott said...

My first marriage only lasted 3 1/2 years. I knew when I married him that it was only temporary for me. It was the vehicle to free me from my father's control. It also allowed me to become a fully functioning adult. So although I was in some ways a waste of time, in other ways it was necessary.

Reya Mellicker said...

Part of your destiny, yes..

Rebecca Clayton said...

I spent several long years on a wrong track, and for years after I kept remembering a dream I had at the beginning, which told me it would not end well. I didn't know how to change course, so I kept on, and on, and on.

I finally gave up blaming myself for not jumping ship right after the dream, but the thing is, I didn't trust my intuition at the time, and I didn't know how to make such a massive course change.

Was it my destiny, or a wrong exit? At least I learned how to recognize a wrong turn, change course, and get back on the highway. It's an important skill. Whether it was worth the price or not, I probably won't ever know, but that's OK. All we can do is the best we can do.

Reya Mellicker said...

Yeah forgive, learn, and move on. Forgiving myself in this case.

Jo said...

I was with you until right at the end where you said, "Was it boring? Probably."

Haha! The one thing that you will NEVER be accused of is being boring.

To witness the process as you work through an issue is very enlightening and informative. Thank you for allowing us to follow it!

Reya Mellicker said...

I love you, Jo.