Friday, January 6, 2012

It's complicated!

I'm having so much fun thinking about destiny, reflecting on various eras in life, thinking about what has, also what has NOT, furthered my process of becoming authentic. Thanks for joining me!

"Why am I here?" is a question a whole swack of smart people have asked themselves at one time or another. We are a curious species; it's no wonder that we wonder about it.

For some, there is a predetermined path laid out before them at birth, one from which they couldn't stray no matter what choices they make. For people who believe that what happens is exactly what was supposed to, there is no regret. How could a person feel regretful if it's all part of the greater plan? In a way, that kind of world view is very liberating. Do whatever the hell you want - it's all part of the Plan.

There are many for whom the idea of destiny does not strike a chord. For them, life on earth is random and unstructured. In a sense these people's values are similar to the ones who believe in predetermined fate. Do whatever you want because there is no master plan or even a river in which to get into the flow.

Not to say that either the fatalistic people or those who have no link with destiny are careless, no way! I know a lot of people I love and respect who try to make the best choices they can in order to live a happier life. There's nothing wrong with that!

Then there are those of us who subscribe to the river of destiny concept - I am among that crowd, obviously. Yes there are certain aspects of life that are indeed set in stone, or maybe I should say, set in bone. Plant an acorn, but please do not hope or expect that an apple tree will grow from that seed. It ain't gonna happen! Jing ancestry is pretty concrete. And yet there's so much about life that is unformed until we put our minds and opposable thumbs to work on it. According to my cosmology, destiny requires our participation.

I work in partnership with my scarce jing ancestry by trying to take care of my health, by strengthening my relationship with my family as best I can. Likewise I try to listen to my ancestors of spirit and blood, I have a very engaged relationship with God, my beloved spirit and animal guides, my friends in the mesosphere, the mighty dead, the weather, seasons, and the behavior of the people around me. All of these relationships guide me towards my soul's purpose, whether or not the way life unfolds is rational.

Right before I got married, my sister begged me not to go through with it. I believe she was speaking not only from her own great wisdom and love for me, but also for the kind influences who wished for my happiness and evolution. But did I listen? Hell no!!

Some days I wonder what message is being put before me that I, for one reason or another, cannot perceive. I try so hard, I do, but I have often missed the mark. It's OK, I'm a human, bound to make mistakes, yes? I say yes.

When I took this picture, I thought it was an owl face in the clouds, but today it looks like a cat face.


Angela said...

Could be both, but a face anyway.
Clouds are really peculiar, I like looking at them, too.
Your marriage, I am quite sure, was NOT in vain. Hasn`t it taught you more about yourself than you ever knew before? And when you wanted that altar and he did not want to let you have it, did you not suddenly stop in your shoes and think, Why do YOU want to decide this?
Yes, I think your marriage was really worth while! I liked your comment on mine, too.
When you come to visit me, we can even WALK to Poland, no fuss at all! Being in Poland will teach you a lot, too! (The people are lovely, very open and modern-minded. No demons around).

steven said...

i like to make mistakes - not consciously choosing to of course - but i like them because i seem to need them around me as markers of what's important. when i look at the big changes in the course of my life's river, i see a mistake followed by an adjustment that reflects what i learned from the mistake and then on to the next mistake. but then is there a difference between a mistake and success? hmmmmmm. would you be you at this very moment without your marriage? hmmmmmmm reya i say hmmmmmm!!!!! steven

Reya Mellicker said...

I suspect I would be between 8 to 10 years closer to Uthenticity if I'd listened to my sister. Angela I meekly sis whatever my husband thought was right.

Steven my great friend, whose real name is Martha Mountain - is that not a great name? - says that life's mishaps are only mistakes if you don't learn from them.

My marriage was a wash, a detour, an off ramp. I regret that detour from the bottom of my heart.

For years I've tried saying it was part of the plan, helped me become me, blah blah blah. Those words never rung true. Now I can see, and speak the truth: it was a total waste of time. Oh well. At least I got out of it!

Reya Mellicker said...

Uthenticity? Ha. Meant authenticity of course.

Reya Mellicker said...

Meekly did. Not sis. Typing on the iPad creates interesting typos.

Elizabeth said...

I go with owl face!
Dear Reya,
you ponder the large cosmic VAST things and I struggle to decide what to eat.....
Such huge cloudy concepts......
but I do think it better to follow your heart whenever you can.
Sending you lots of love for a passionate the mindful 2012
Buster sends some cool zen
food walk love etc etc

Reya Mellicker said...

I too wonder what to eat. Sometimes it's more interesting to think about destiny. Other times I would rather think about dinner!

Pauline said...

Looks like an owl to me, too.

Destiny - dinner... you're destined to dine at some point ;)

As for answers to the BIG question - it's a multiple choice test!

Angela said...

You are stubborn, Reya. No, it cannot have been a total waste of time, think again. Think what you would haver missed if you had never been married (learning to cook, for example). This feeling of anger which you got from meekly doing what you were supposed to do, how else would you have learned how that felt? And how good it is to get OUT of this trap. Sometimes we can only learn to understand others from making horrible experiences. And you are such a good healer now, Reya, BECAUSE you were unhappy once. And have risen.

Reya Mellicker said...

Who's stubborn?

Nancy said...

It sounds to me as though you have a very solid view of where you need to be. You are in touch not only with yourself but the unseen as well. Most of us could only hope to be that connected.

Reya Mellicker said...

Well. Maybe. Thanks Nancy.

Kerry said...

I see a cat up there, maybe tomorrow it will become an owl. The owl and the pussycat!

It's very empowering to believe that destiny requires participation.