Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Steady as she goes?
What is your destiny? Do you believe in it? According to my cosmology, destiny is co-created, an ongoing, complicated performance art project, a situation in which my ancestors of blood, spirit and karma play a significant part, also the stars and planets, God (such as that force guides everything more or less) and of course me and my puny human power of free choice (only puny in comparison to the vast forces that shape "reality.")
The path of destiny creates a magnetic tug that pulls me in the direction of its fulfillment. I am drawn towards the landscapes, the work, the people and the situations necessary for its manifestation in this lifetime. Destiny is a river, one of many rivers flowing through the ocean of energy in which we live out our lives on planet earth. Anytime I find myself row, row, rowing my boat gently down the river of destiny, all feels "right" somehow, even when shit happens, as they say. Do you know what I'm talking about?
The path or river of destiny is jammed with crossroads, intersections and off ramps, making possible the use of free will, though when I stray from the path laid out before me, turn right instead of left, for instance, I know it immediately. Suddenly I feel off, I feel wrong. I felt that wrongness throughout my marriage, for instance. Oh yeah.
Earlier in life it was harder to sense, but as I grow older the feeling of offness is much more potent, far more insistent. One of my teachers used to say that the job of the Fates is to guide us back to the river of destiny. Sometimes that guidance is gentle, sometimes not so much! I remember my divorce. Oy vey!
I'm thinking about it today because the Sufi acupuncturist was describing the attributes of Zong Qi yesterday - a gathering of ancestral chi in the chest. He told me about the unfolding of familial jing, the life force energy we literally inherit, the code of DNA that determines hair color and nearsightedness, for instance, also the physical ailments that are characteristic in families. In my family that would include all manner of respiratory stuff: allergies, asthma, colds, etc.
He also spoke of shen, the spirit, how that ethereal river is also part of our inheritance. Those of us who never exactly fit into our families perhaps follow the path of shen inheritance a bit more strongly than the path of jing inheritance. We dance in shamanic alignment with the resonance of Zong Qi when making choices as opposed to sticking with the pattern of inherited jing. It's interesting to think about.
A major component of my destiny involves working with people undergoing trauma. For no logical reason, I am great with women during labor and delivery. How can that be true since I never had children of my own? Don't ask me! I'm also good with very ill people, those facing imminent death, as well as with people following a huge loss, i.e. the death of a beloved.
I am honored to understand this piece of my destiny, and bewildered by it as well. At one time in my life, the situations I'm destined to witness scared the bejesus out of me. That I can now sit with folks experiencing such powerful emotions and physical states is astonishing.
Destiny is incomprehensible! I do my best to keep my hands on the steering wheel, get out of the exit only lanes when possible, keep my eyes on the prize. It seems like the best course of action, but do I understand? No I do not! The older I get, the less I know, that's for sure!