Saturday, January 14, 2012

Brain Stew

I'm standing on a Connecticut Avenue bridge looking out over Rock Creek Park near the zoo. Creepy!

I've got a bunch of great new photos to post, but too much to say, all of which is not yet speech ripe. Here's a list of things I have nothing smart to say about ... yet.

1. I am, and am not, the superhero of my personal myth cycle. (The name of this half-formed post is "The Butterfly Effect.")

2. I'm thinking about pride as Goldilocks would address that quality; not too proud, but not deflated either. In particular I'm realizing that self-confidence (NOT arrogance) involves understanding that what I say and do has an impact.

3. When I cook, I'm happy. So my marriage wasn't actually a total wash.

4. I re-arranged the furniture in my bedroom this week, after which the feng shui within and without shifted. An old friend I've known forever started flirting with me (so weird! I'm sure this phase will pass.) Also, suddenly half and half tastes strange in my morning coffee. WTF is that all about?

5. People come and go from the saga of my life. Thinking about people who were, at one time, close friends until suddenly, from out of the nowhere (or so it seems to me) they are beamed out of my saga. Someone has recently removed herself from the saga. I'm feeling sad and perplexed about it and even though she wishes to blame me, it's very clear that she created the crisis that broke the connection. I've experienced this before; I will accept it eventually but it's so weird.

I could go on, but you get the idea. I watch the thoughts whirling around my head but for some reason I can't grasp them, I can't get them inside a cage of words. Not yet. C'est la vie!


ellen abbott said...

You'd think that by the time we get to this age that we would be beyond drama, that we would know ourselves well enough by now not to have to place blame. But people will still make up stories in their heads and then project it on another person. Good that you know yourself well enough not to accept it.

Reya Mellicker said...

It's hard to get that worked up about it. Feeling wistful mostly.

Elizabeth said...

As to would have suggested you were pregnant....Hm.....
so sorry you can't comment on my thrilling life
absolutely no idea why blogger doesn't love you.
It accepted "Puppy" as a blog fellow on my side bar.

Horribly cold here, so dreaming of Maroc


Elizabeth said...

ps Third photo melancholy and lyrical!

nerima roberts said...

Rock Creek Park....isn't that where Chandra Levy disappeared, or whose body was found?
Anyways, I am not surprised you practice feng shui. I do too. The whole thing of energy flow just makes sense.

steven said...

inside a cage of words. wow reya - that's mind-opening!!!! thankyou. steven

Cyndy said...

Connecticut Avenue up by the zoo is my old stomping ground. Or at least that's where I lived until about the time I learned how to walk, and I've felt connected to that section of CT Ave ever since, for some strange reason.

Thanks for the preview of possible upcoming posts!

Steve Reed said...

Yes, I like your "cage of words" and "brain stew" images, too. Some of those upcoming posts sound intriguing!

Not to be too prosaic, but maybe you should try a different container of half & half? (Or have you already?)

I miss Rock Creek Park and that whole neighborhood near the zoo. Such a cool area.

Pauline said...

"...can't get them in a cage of words" is an interesting way to put it. Try putting those thoughts in a river of words and see what happens...

Reya Mellicker said...

Pauline, excellent advice. Though, won't they simply rush downstream into the ocean?