Sunday, December 18, 2011
What a Relief!
What is a perfect day? Of course there is no such thing, but a close to perfect day includes waking up after a good night's sleep, satisfying work, connection with people I love, excellent timing, princess parking at the Matchbox bar, delicious food and drink, warmth in the winter, cool in the summer, sunshine and/or dramatic weather, creative self-expression and a couple of excellent surprises.
Oh yeah, that was yesterday.
We humans yearn, we desire. We want, and want and want and want. We go after what we desire, grasping, grabbing, hanging on as tightly as we can to the fruits of our ambitions. Only later in life is it possible to understand that letting go is every bit as pleasing as achieving and attaining and procuring. Wow.
I believe I've finally let go of Vega. Oh man it feels so good to let her go. I feel clean, restored to myself again. NaNoWriMo is for people who need to blow out a big ole writer's block through a push of words. Creativity is not my problem, nope. It's the craft of writing that I struggle with, the careful shaping of words. There was none of that happening in November, my goodness. Just during the last few days I feel I am fully back to this blog, to Chateau Seven (my other blog). I'm reading blogs again, I am back to myself, in other words: free.
If I had written The Tell when I was forty, would I have been able to let go when I realized it wasn't good or good for me? I might have decided to hammer away at it endlessly.
The next time someone tells you getting older is an awful twist of fate, don't believe them! Getting older is awesome, fantastic. A beautiful client says she is "getting better at quitting." Indeed, it's a great skill to cultivate, though very difficult to appreciate until late middle age. My mother used to say the first half of life is about acquiring, the last half is about giving it all away. I didn't understand then, but I do now, oh yeah!
It's good to be back. Shalom.