It's nice to be sane, well such as I am what with spirit guides, past lives and such. Yes I am friends with the noctilucent cloud people and also believe the planets (including Mama Gaia) are sentient beings. I could go on except the point of this post is to impress upon you how much closer to sane I am than I once was. Wish me good luck with that!
They called me Ruby and I was hell-bent for leather, whatever that means. Ruby was a par-Tay girl, oh my. I remember one particularly bad New Year's Day when I lived at Lake Tahoe in the early 1980s. I finally got out of bed around 4:00 p.m. Within 10 minutes I had spilled scalding hot tea all over my weary, hungover, dazed body. Ouch. It was not a great portent for the year to come. Probably it's not necessary to explain what kind of trouble I had gotten into the night before. That was then, before psychotherapy (10 years worth), before i learned to meditate, before encountering my great teachers. I had no skills, no tools with which to deal with my intrinsic mysticism, hence I was always overwhelmed. And then there were the hormones. Oh I do not miss raging hormones. Whoa.
A lot of people my age feel wistful when they reflect on their youth. I do not share that feeling. I look in the mirror these days, closing in on 59, and for the first time in my life recognize the face I see smiling back at me. I dig my aging face. I've been waiting to be this age all my life.
I look back on earlier eras of life in wonder and gratitude. I was crazy, sloppy and self-destructive, a chariot driver who didn't know how to get hold of the reins. I'm so glad I squeaked through that time and for all the blessings that followed, that continue to fall into my hands. Life is good and I am grateful.
Shalom.
9 comments:
i'm sure grateful for the youness of you reya!!! steven
oh the excesses of youth. I too am glad to be where and when I am. All of that was fun but I don't think I'd want a redo either.
Thanks Steven.
I don't remember the fun as much as the fear, anxiety, worry and the way I tilted into any substance that might alter those emotions. Whew!
I worked in that Castle tower for a small portion of my life. I love looking at your pictures to see where you've been perambulating for the day.
Hope you had a wonderful birthday Ms. cube
It's funny to think that I left most excesses behind before I reached 24. I'm a little fuzzy on the details, but I am pretty sure I fit an awful lot into a relatively short span of time! It's hopeful to hear that you're comfortable in your own skin at this point. Sometimes I feel like there's an eventual 'Me' I'm headed towards and have to remind myself that it's the journey that matters. I have so much trouble with the whole Just Be thing. I keep working on it but without much success. Oh well, life is a process of growth, right? I guess no one said it had to be a fast process...
Don't want a redo, no thank you! So glad you made it to now...so very glad. I have other names, too...I prefer Michael, and I love Reya.
I'm with Steven on this Reya - very thankful for your presence in my world. have a great new year and may the blessings of 2012 rain all around and on you xx
Thank you Val! And Michael I love you too.
Whitney, it's impossible to just be until age 50. You're awesome, mighty and powerful as all getout. You are!
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