I used to be a very timid person, afraid of everything, basically. But the Sufi acupuncturist has been futzing with my terribly deficient kidney jing which is the source of my lifelong fear. (I love the way in which it's never your fault, in Chinese medicine, when something isn't working. It's just an imbalance! Yeah!)
On this gloomy, rainy, cold morning in Washington DC, I'm reflecting on how I've enthusiastically tackled a few life-long ambitions - and failed completely! - during the last couple of years. I tried to learn to play the bass: disaster. I tried to write a book - omg it is SO bad. Yesterday I set out to buy some new clothes. I had a budget I was determined to spend, and a great, very fashionable friend, who went with me.
After trying on pretty much everything in the store, at last I decided to buy one blouse - ONE - though I'm going to return it tomorrow since it was extremely expensive, also the blouse is very trendy which means it will go out of style in the next five minutes.
Sigh.
Another failure!
Gracious. Hey, don't think I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself or anything. I've also succeeded a few times. I made Thanksgiving dinner, and it was good! I moved my practice into the chateau and that's going GREAT. It hasn't all been about failure.
I guess what's worth noting is the fact that I've TRIED new things, things I had previously decided I wasn't capable of doing. It's the attempt, rather than the result, that's interesting to me. I owe my courage to the Sufi acupuncturist, but also I think it has to do with this time of life. If I don't try it now, when will I try? At age 70? 80? It's now or never, hey?
No matter what age you are, whatever you've always wanted to try - give it a go. Carpe diem, y'all.
9 comments:
now or never...exactly! I think age does liberate us. We're no longer put off by what others will think about us for one thing. Not that I ever was. One of the things we would do during the river guide days was wallow in the mud. there was one spot on the river where it was just perfect for that. It was fun to see the expressions on the guests faces. some would jump right in with us and others would get this look of absolute horror. But, you know, it was just mud and when it was time to continue on downstream we would just wash it all off in the river and be clean again. Wet for sure but that was a good thing since it was so hot in the canyon.
success is relative,,,no not your kinfolks,,,look around, you'll see. :)
Long live the mud people! We used to do that sometimes at witch camp. It is deliriously fun, it really is. I feel sorry for those who were horrified. Too bad.
Glenn, hmmm. Thanks, friend.
There's absolutely no point in waiting to live life to the fullest!
This is great. I wonder if maybe it's something about this particular time, as well. I see change all around me, and I've struck out to try new things as well when I would typically avoid them for fear of failure.
We can't all be good at everything all the time!!!
How dull would that be?
I think it's excellent that you try new things and are brave enough to fail.
Being timid and frightened of being laughed at is the bane of many people's existence.....
You look very studious in your new photo!
oxoxo
Whitney I'm sure you're right - that this time period is all about change and risk. Yes! Very cool, thanks.
Elizabeth, that pic was taken by Kim Yanoshik last time she was here. I like it. I look contemplative. At least I think so!
I can't think of you as timid, Reya!
Absolutely -- being able to say you tried is almost as valuable as actually succeeding.
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