Yeah, they caught up with me. I'm talking about the Christmas blues. Dang, man. I thought I was going to get away free and clear this year.
It happened last night while I was standing around the Capitol Christmas tree with dear neighbors and friends. I was dressed up, ready and willing to launch into singing along with these people who gather every year at the tree, after which they meet at a neighbor's house to feast and drink toasts to the season. I'm a part of the village now, hence I'm warmly invited to participate. It's a wonderful thing.
When it came time to sing, my throat snapped shut. I was unable to vocalize a single syllable. Out of the nowhere the blues came up, like a roundhouse right punch to the gut. Ouch! A friend of mine who is also Jewish sensed my distress, walked over and said, "They should know better than to invite Jews to this shindig." Sweet of him - of course he was there, too!
As if in shamanic alignment with my sudden melancholy, the skies opened and the rain came falling down, catching everyone by surprise. I don't think there was a single umbrella in the crowd. I was wearing my beloved cashmere coat, my finest Vietnamese silk scarf, my lovingly hand-painted rock n roll boots, and since I felt on the verge of bursting into tears, I decided to make a hasty exit from the scene of good vibes.
The rain poured down. It was so wet, oh my goodness. My glasses fogged up halfway to the chateau. Finally I took them off, walked blind, sad and soaking wet, back home.
Awwww, poor little Reya.
I must laugh at myself in spite of the fact that I'm now feeling the Christmas blues. I'm not the first nor will I be the last person to get a little weepy right around now. At least I'm not letting that sadness turn brittle, I'm not allowing it to congeal into snarkiness or grinchiness (is that a word?)
I'm de-scrooged, yes, but I guess still vulnerable to the wave of emotions that are a part of the holiday season for many people. Yep, I am a human being, I surely am. OK. So be it.
Peace on earth, y'all, and good will to humans. Indeed!
7 comments:
Ditto, Reya. I too am a bit of a Christmas Grinch this year but I am trying not to sink too low into it. I've got company arriving today and I'm determined to make this a great holiday season despite my inner feelings.
Beautiful photos! Especially the last one.
Peace and Love!
You are a human...and much loved. Grace and peace to you, my dear friend, now and always.
I'm feeling a bit of it myself...but am letting myself stay wide open, welcoming tears from sentiment and joy as well.
Are your boots okay?
The boots survived! It's a good portent.
Thanks for the sentiments, friends. Whitney, I too (so far) have managed to soften around the blues rather than becoming cynical. Thank god for that!
It'll all be over in a few days.
Thank you, Ellen, it surely will.
Yay!
Ditto what Ellen says!
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