Wednesday, December 21, 2011
GPS of the Soul
Thirteen years ago today my ex, the dog and I rolled into Washington DC after a drive across the U.S. from San Francisco. The moving van was also en route; all we had to do was find a place to live.
I remember how alien I felt, not of this landscape even though I lived here briefly in 1981 and had returned many times to teach witch camp in W. Virginia. Of course I'd left my heart in San Francisco (it took three years before I was able to retrieve it).
I felt either numb or ill - can't say which, as we set up a temporary household in "corporate housing" - apartment/condos in Reston, Virginia that were so generic, I rented and watched "The Stepford Wives" in order to dance in shamanic alignment with the situation.
Everything was wrong about this new life I was embarking upon. The terrible DC water upset my delicate San Francisco sensibilities, the food did not measure up (still doesn't, actually, though it seemed more important then than now). The only people I was acquainted with had been students at witch camp, all of whom carefully hid their spirituality in the broom closet in their "real" lives, something I couldn't fathom at the time. In virtually every conversation I stuck my foot in my mouth - inadvertently I assure you! I didn't understand that there existed a highly developed behavioral protocol here, one that was quite different than what I was used to.
I didn't get that there would be such tremendous cultural differences between the two cities. I thought, hey, DC and SF are both American cities - how different could they be? Holy cow, I did not get it.
Jake and I walked up and down the suburban streets by day, I clung to my ex at night. Oh man, was it a hard start!
Today I've lived in DC as long as I did in San Francisco. So - am I a Washingtonian now? While allegedly meditating this morning, the idea that I could turn out to be permanently bi-coastal arose vividly into my mind.
I've lived in every American time zone. Am I Coloradan (where I was born and spent my first five years)? Or perhaps I'm still a Kansas City girl (where I grew up). Maybe attempting to identify myself by time zone or city is not relevant. Maybe it never was! Indeed, life is short. I think today I'll stop trying to work this out, turn my mind to something more interesting, yes? I say yes.
Happy solstice, y'all. Cheers!