Monday, August 23, 2010

God is Mean to Me



I don't believe it, of course. I just thought it would be a funny post title. The God I know about doesn't have a mean bone in his/her body. Nor does God have bones or a body, or a personality for that matter.

There are times when I yearn to be bodyless, like right now, for instance. A terrible summer cold came over me all of a sudden yesterday, and has gotten worse overnight (that's why I'm not sleeping - when I lie down I can't breathe). Besides being uncomfortable, the cold is grounding me in DC, spoiling my plans for a mountain/river getaway. There will be no escape up to the cabin this week after all. I'm experiencing a failure to launch.

Some people would try their best to ignore the symptoms. They would go anyway, maybe after swallowing a fistful of decongestants, some Advil, etc. That kind of behavior makes no sense to me at all. What is the point of pretending to have fun? I want to actually have fun, something that's not possible when I'm sick.

Timing is everything and the body never lies. Indeed this cold is a beautiful (in a way) metaphor for my current spiritual state: my heart and lungs are heavy as the result of a recent separation from a dear one. My sore throat reflects the shutdown in communication, my stuffy sinuses mimic the aftermath of a good cry. I've been trying to be so brave, valiant, strong, etc. about this recent turn of events, but my body knows better. And so I sniffle. When I wrote the series of posts about valour, Linda Sue (at least) suggested I go ahead, rant and rave, misbehave. Oh man. Linda Sue: you were absolutely correct. I stuffed my reaction and now look at me.

Or maybe this cold is just random. Who knows?

What I do know is that I'll be watching streaming movies from netflix this week, eating chicken soup instead of hanging out at the cabin in W. Virginia. Maybe I'll be able to reschedule my escape for sometime in September. If I work it out, please remind me to go ahead and pitch a fit if I'm feeling moody BEFORE it's time to get out of town, OK? OK.


Under "Marine Wife" it says, "Toughest job in the corps."

14 comments:

Val said...

Noooooooo! i was so looking forward to your cabin break :-( hope you get another chance soon, and can rest up and recover comfortably in your beautiful space. hot toddys on prescription!!

mouse (aka kimy) said...

terribly sorry your end of summer getaway plans have been aborted.

healing thoughts your way.

ps re netflix we just watched 'shrink' with kevin spacey...was surprising good - although since it was a hit at sundance perhaps it's not too surprising

Janelle said...

ahhhhhhh pole sana reya darlin'! get well soon and rest rest rest...and get it all out...thinking of you. xxx j

Vicki said...

I wish i had the words to heal your health and happiness.......

C.M. Jackson said...

reya--feel better--probably a combo of working so hard on your new abode and the beastly heat and humidity we have had this summer which makes for lots of mold. That combined with ragweed can make one feel pretty wonky. You have the right idea--chicken soup and movies--Here's hoping you get to re-schedule your jaunt just in time for the fall foliage !! c

willow said...

Oh, I'm so sorry! I was really excited for you and your getaway. Speaking of God, I like the Sound of Music-ish saying, whenever he/she closes a door, he always opens a window. Hope you find a nice big wide picture window this week! xx

Reya Mellicker said...

Thanks, Willow.

CM I love the word "beastly" to describe the weather. I definitely feel like my body has HAD IT with this terrible summer.

Kim I am thinking about you with so much love.

Y'all, I will live. It's just a poorly timed cold. But thanks so much for your thoughts.

The Bug said...

I HATE summer colds. Miserable to the nth degree. However, I'm glad you'll have this space of already alloted time to heal. Rest, eat, sleep, watch tender vittles movies (giving you permission to cry since it's not about you)...

steven said...

yeah reya - bummer. holding so much in and look - it's a cold. terrible timing but perhaps there's something else in it for you. just wait! steven

ellen abbott said...

Oh Reya! You've had quite a few colds this year. Sorry about the abrupt loss of your friend. I can totally relate to that.

Everton Terrace said...

Boy Reya, you weren't kidding when you said there is an energy that makes it hard to get out of that city! September in the mountains sounds even lovelier to me than August. The leaves might be starting to change - yum. Healing thoughts to you.

Nancy said...

The body never lies. So sorry you plans have to be aborted, but I feel as you do - why pretend to have a good time? If I'm sick, I want to be home.

Linda Sue said...

WELL SHITE! The cabin in West Virginia is not going anywhere, there will be a better time and who knows , you may be avoiding disaster- head on collision, creepy deranged guy with a chainsaw- who knows!
I know that when there are deep emotional upsets I invariably get what you have.Thanks for thinking that I was correct- I think that I am just less evolved but seems to me, unless one is totally on another plane, like a monk who disassociates and hums all day- hurts are to be felt, They are to be addressed...or they will nail you. Protect yourself, I say- sometimes whiny biotch is a good thing!Be well soon, sorry about your plans- "plans"- that is a whole other rant, they can disappoint so.I send you warm chicken soup thoughts and wishes, Dear Reya.

Washington Cube said...

I've got it, too, and this after a week earlier having the stomach bug going around. Sigh.