During the worst of Saturday's heinous heat, I was working with my rain stick, trying to get the rain to fall on DC. I hate drought. When there isn't enough rain, I feel like I'm shriveling just like the green world. This is true in spite of the fact that I am always well hydrated and well showered. It is perhaps a shamanic overidentification with the land. Who knows?
Extreme weather seems unfair, cruel, brutal even, but the weather, though it may seem unfair to me, is what it is. The weather is the emotional body/soul of planet earth (at least in my cosmology) so it must, by its very nature, run too hot sometimes, too cold, too dry, too wet. Weather and emotion are passionate. Indeed.
This morning I'm thinking that on a microcosmic scale, my moods are similarly unsettling any time I'm moving through a period of emotional extremes.
My mother considered me "too emotional." I took that in, hence I used to try to stuff what I was feeling, or block it, or re-direct my moods to something more "positive" - whatever that is - never with great results. But I've learned over time that no matter what I'm feeling, it won't last forever. If I just breathe and wait - and try not to take it out on others - it will eventually pass. And, too, as a result of my years of therapy, I've come to think of the expression of emotion as authentic. Is there such a thing as being too authentic? You tell me.
I'm thinking about it this morning because as a result of deciding to invest in my tattoo, the excoriating regret about that decision has begun to wane. What a relief! As if in shamanic alignment with my lighter mood, the extreme heat in DC has at last subsided. We had a couple of brief but heavy downpours overnight, showers are predicted for the rest of today. Temperatures will remain below 90 F. for the next few days. Whew! What a relief! I'll head out in a little while for a walk before seeing clients this afternoon. I will take pictures of the green world, covered as it is with drops from last night's rain, I will photograph reflections in puddles. All is as it should be! Hurray.
Life is good and I am grateful, particularly now that the storms of heat and regret have passed. Onwards and upwards. Shalom!