Saturday, March 27, 2010
The visual spectrum in Washington DC yesterday was mostly about pink and silver, with a hint of early spring green tossed in.
Just as there are dog people and cat people, there are summer people and winter people. Is that right? I think it is. Are there spring and fall people? Bird people? Fish people? Probably. Because I'm a rule-bound personality, sometimes I get locked into the idea that the world is exclusively structured in polar opposites, that if I am a winter person, then I can't also be a summer person, for instance. (It's true that I am NOT a summer person, even though I feel I should be, living in Washington DC. Seasonally I am a fall/winter/spring person. So actually that's not a good example.)
In my heart of hearts I know that the world is not an either/or situation, that there are always more options, more realities, than either the black or white. I know, I KNOW, that I have free will and that there are always more options available than I can imagine at any one time. Because of my enthusiasm about most things, I can get out there to the extreme edges of every thought-form spectrum. Before I know it, I'm thinking in terms of us vs. them, or that one way of thinking is RIGHT, the other way is WRONG, that there are only two colors: ultraviolet and infrared. That is SO untrue!
I used to be a lot more entangled in the polarized world view than I am now, though in certain areas, I still get stuck. What I'm thinking about this morning is my optimism/pessimism and how hard it is for me to find a space between the attitudes of Everything is going to be great! and its opposite, I am DOOMED. Energetically the former requires of a lot of expansion, like breathing in so deeply it feels like my lungs will pop out of my rib cage. It's too much expansion. When I'm in my optimism mind-set, it feels quite forced. The opposite is what I call "The Voice of Collapse," i.e. I can't, it won't work, I'll never be able to ... etc. When I feel doomed, the center can not hold. I feel like a black hole, sucking everything inwards.
Does it sound like I'm bi-polar? Honestly, I'm not. Perhaps the above is expressed a bit more dramatically than necessary.
What I intend to continue cultivating is my curiosity and openness. Instead of deciding what the future holds, good or bad, I'd like to walk through my days wondering, staying open and alert, yet relaxed, asking myself at every decision crossroads, "Now what? What is possible here?" Wow. Wouldn't that be something?
I'm working on it! Have a wonderful weekend, y'all!