Sunday, December 6, 2009

Stupified



Because I have worked with so many clients facing serious illnesses, it follows that sometimes they don't make it, sometimes they die. Several times I have had to deal with the grief, shock, loss and - with those who were sickest - the relief of their deaths.

Yesterday I learned that a client I haven't seen in awhile, someone I referred to a psychiatrist, an M.D., and the Sufi acupuncturist because I was unable to be of help to him with bodywork or Reiki, committed suicide last week.

Perhaps it's just as well that the snow yesterday, while pretty when gazed at from indoors, was not fun to walk around in because it was so wet and because of the wind. I walked around the block once or twice, but basically tucked myself under a blanket on my couch for most of the day. Staying indoors and just staring at the falling snow, was probably the best way for me to begin to wrap my mind - and heart - around this tragedy.

Thank you for allowing me to share this sad news here. L'chaim.

25 comments:

Tom said...

so sorry...best to enjoy the snow from the safety of your living room. Happy thoughts.

The Bug said...

I'm so sorry for your loss Reya...

ellen abbott said...

At least he is free of the pain and fear and but still, it is hard to take.

John Hayes said...

That must be very difficult--hope you can find some peace.

Barry said...

I'm very sorry to hear this Reya. Suicide is so complex and affects so many people in so many ways. He may be a peace now, but suicide leaves so much pain in its wake.

Liza said...

I am so sorry for your loss Reya.

I hope you don't mind me leaving a poem. Some beautiful words for a beautiful soul.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!

As Tom said, Happy Thoughts.

lacochran said...

I'm so sorry. *hug*

Tom Bailey said...

This is my first visit to your blog: I am never sure exactly what to say because when I was hit by something like that... I went through a variety of emotions...

The only thing I was told that helped me was figuring out... what is possible now?

I wrote out about 20 the day after the funneral.

Gratitude for what I do have now..

Gratitude for the people that were still in my life and the possibility of getting closer to them...

The possibility of a deeper and richer enjoyment of the life I still had...

The possibility of doing things to be more giving...

When suicide hit my family... it left a deep pain that I decided to take that energy and turn it to something that inspired me...

Kindest regards,
Tom Bailey

Cyndy said...

It is so sad when someone chooses to take that path. I'm sorry for your loss.

Deborah said...

frozen tears

how perfect

Janelle said...

so sad. so sad. i hate that. xxx j

Pauline said...

...thou canst not stir a flower
Without troubling of a star . . .
— Francis Thompson

We are linked to one another and it is always distressing when a link is broken. Wishing you eventual rest and peace of mind.

gilbertlemon said...

Gather roses while you may........................................

Rebecca Clayton said...

I tend to forget how serious your clients' problems are, and how much you must help them. It must be very hard when you feel you can't help. I hope you remember how much good you do.

Teri and the cats of Furrydance said...

Your friend is at peace now, and may you find peace too, in that you were in his life and helped, you truly did.

Reya Mellicker said...

You are all so smart and good! Suicide is incomprehensible to me. This is the first client I've lost to that form of death. It hit me hard. Whoa.

But I worked on wonderful living people today none of who have plans to die any time soon. It was very healing.

So were all your comments. Thank you!

Ronda Laveen said...

Losing a client to suicide has only happened to me a couple of times. And even though I saw the signs, still came as a shock. In one case, the client was an R.N. He doctor was well aware of her problems. When she fell upon a time of despair, she told him and, because she had HMO insurance, he had to request a referral to a specialist. After waiting three days, she used a syringe to inject air into her vein and died from an air embolism.

You are right about the snow day.

Nancy said...

I'm so sorry, Reya. Suicide is always such a shock.

debra said...

This has been a challenging year for so many. We have lost 4 family and extended family members since July, and 2 acquaintances. One, maybe 2 were suicides. We have been privileged to make 4 of the urns for our dear friends; it still boggles my mind. Sigh.

kob said...

So sorry, Reya.

Lori ann said...

Oh. what to say. I'm sorry too. It makes me so sad to think a person is in so much pain that is the only way out.
your weather looks like winter alright. enjoy.(i hope you get more snow!)
xo

Pam said...

Oh darlin'. So sorry.I know your pain.

Mrsupole said...

I can only say that I am so sorry. We can never know what others are feeling.

I'm glad that you got to enjoy your snow day while safely ensconsed in your living room, all snuggled and warm.

I am thankful that you had a nice workday. Your work is so important for all of your clients. If I was lucky enough to live there in DC, then I would totally want to be one of your clients, because you are one of the best, and to be so lucky to have someone who cares about their clients the way that you do. That shows us you are one of the best and all your clients are so blessed to have you to help them.

I am also thankful you had a "Snow" day and thankful that we had a "Rain" day. Every drop of rain helps our drought.

God bless.

Lynne said...

Oh Reya. I'm so sorry. Big hugs being sent your way, can you feel them?

janis said...

I think everyone pretty much said what I am thinking.
I sympathize, although I don't know your paitent, as someone with suicidal tendencies, I am so grateful for my Doctors, medication, Therapist, Family & Friends, that I am Blessed with to make it easier for me to cope. We don't mean to cause pain to others, and suicide is typically a way one can hope to escape, not inflict, pain on to others.