Sunday, December 27, 2009

Bullseye



It's incredible as well as humbling to realize that a single event can define a whole year. I'm thinking about this truth as I look back on the events of my personal 2009. All in all, it was an average year with its ups and downs. There were some real high points, like my trips to California and New York, also some not so high points.

Jake's death on June 30 punched an energetic hole right through the center of the year, a gaping abyss into which all the energy from before and afterwards drained away. Bizarre that he died EXACTLY halfway through the year. What are the chances of that?

That moment is still vivid, almost lurid in detail. I'm no longer engaged in active grieving, but the experience left an ugly scar on my heart. Compared to Jake's death, everything else that happened in 2009 has faded like an old photograph left out in the sun. It's almost over - the year, that is. Hasta la vista, baby. Oh yeah.

14 comments:

ellen abbott said...

A seminal year for me as well I think. Not outwardly so much (our transition from city to country is still not complete) but internally. There has definitely been a sea change as I approach the end of my 60th year on this planet next April. Strange isn't it? I won't be 60 until my 60th year is over.

Elizabeth said...

Now you can focus on remembering Jake with joy
He was such a cool dog.
Yes, strange he died right in the middle of the year.
Happy new year, Reya!

lakeviewer said...

Yes, this year will be etched in your memory forever.

Lori ann said...

Your memory of Jake is a beautiful thing, may he live on. I like the winding down post, that's just what i'm doing now.
Happy New Year Reya,
xoxo

janis said...

Hello Reya~ Sorry I have been MIA. I do try to keep up reading your blog, just havent commented as much. I hope the Holidays find you happy & healthy.
I miss Jake too. Funny. I felt I knew him from your beautiful writings. I may not have met you if not for him!
Love to you my dear Blogger friend with the coming New Year!
:)love janis

Ptolemy said...

I lost a dog suddenly on Jan 1, 2007 and while many, many nice things happened in 2007, I was glad to see the end of it, to be done with the year that Ptolli died... Here's hoping that 2010 will be a real fresh start for you.

Bee said...

It is a bit startling to read that Jake died in June. So long ago already? He died during the longest days of the year, and here we are mired in the shortest days.

I've treasured your blog friendship this year, dear Reya. Looking forward to what 2010 brings!

tut-tut said...

The page is turning to 2010, and I am striving to find the center balance. What will happen?

Ronda Laveen said...

Wow! Exactly half way through the year? What a special guy. No wonder all else fades away.

Mary Ellen said...

Reya, I've appreciated being part of your journey. Jake's death, and your honest sharing of the pain you experienced, opened up space for connecting to you, and I've been glad for that. May the journey continue to be a rich one, through all the light and all the shadows.

Nancy said...

Yeah - bye bye 2009 - don't let the door hit you in the cosmic @#$ on the way out!

Reya Mellicker said...

Nancy? Oh yeah!!

steven said...

well reya the jakester wasn't a down-the-middle sort of soul in any way so he gave you a little message didn't he! find your joy on both sides of the fence!!!! a joyous day for you!!!! steven

Steve said...

Onward and upward, as you often say!