Monday, April 20, 2009

Be Careful What You Ask For



I just joined an internet dating site. This is something I would never, not EVER, have considered doing in the past. Recently, though, it came to me that because I love the internet, blogging, Facebook and the ways in which, through these social networks, I've befriended people all over the world, maybe the internet dating idea could work for me. Who knows? I'm not counting on it, not bearing down on the idea, but why not give it a whirl?

The hardest part was writing a few paragraphs about who I am and what I'm looking for. What am I looking for? I couldn't figure out a polite way to say I have no frickin idea! Even harder was trying to describe myself. I settled on adjectives like "active" and "curious" and named some of the things I'm interested in. It was an excruciating exercise somewhat akin to the way I feel when trying on clothes at Macy's. But I kept my good humor as I wrote it.

Before she found true love (not through the internet, btw), my friend Velvet of the great blog Velvet in Dupont wrote the most hilarious stories about her internet dating experiences. I can't imagine having as much fun as she did, but maybe there will be stories to tell, funny stories - or, more fitting with the way I greet the world - poignant stories of human nature. Or maybe nothing will come of it, who knows?

Wish me luck? Thanks ya'll.

42 comments:

deborah said...

wishing you well
and every happiness
love you so

JC said...

Can't wait to hear how it goes. They better like dogs .. like the movie !!!

R.L. Bourges said...

wishing you better than luck, Reya. Wishing you the magical window of opportunity peeking open just at the right moment and someone handing you just your cup of coffee - or tea, should that be your preference.

JC says: they better like dogs. They better like your blogging buddies, too ! :-)

Hilarywho said...

I met my partner on the internet eight years ago. Had to go on a lot of bad dates before I found her though. My advice: don't spend too much time communicating on line before actually meeting. Get it over with. A quick little coffeeshop meet is so much better than weeks and weeks spent typing.

Janelle said...

whew reya. brave Brave! keep us posted...lots love x janelle

Angela said...

Oh, this will be fun (for us, peeking). I wonder if you will tell them about the hundred curious faces behind the curtain? tehee, better not. Only to scare the real horrible ones off. And I suppose the one who really fits will be the one behind you in the queue anyway. But who knows?!

mary said...

Good Luck ! I did like "Must Love Dogs.....have you seen it? Actually liked it many levels - especially Stockard Channing. Just make Jake give them the once-over first....dogs know stuff!

willow said...

I know several couples who met online and are living happily ever after! So, don't give up too soon. I think it's a great idea. Best of luck, Reya!

hele said...

i met my love on the internet.

S~DLT said...

How exciting! I'm one of those few people who love dating. I wish you luck, and you can just chalk it up to a learning experience.

janis said...

Oh Reya~
You write so well. how could you not put a paragraph or so about yourself without someone getting a great glimpse of you? We all think you are fabulous! I just pray some weirdo doesn't "find" you. much love & happiness sending your way!
Hope you share your journey with us!

Kerry said...

Well, why not? And I just read this:
"When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap." ~Cynthia Heimel, "Lower Manhattan Survival Tactics"

ellen abbott said...

It's the wave of the future. I know several people who met their mates on-line. Most recently, my brother-in-law. Went to the wedding last January.

It would be hard for me too to describe myself. It took me nearly 4 months to get as much info on my profile as I have.

moonshin said...

good luck, Reya! i'm rootin' for you! =)

Steve said...

Wow! Bravo to you! Can't wait to compare results! :)

Just me said...

I'm all for internet dating. I met my husband on Craigslist. :)

There's definitely some 'weeding' to be done when you date online. It also takes some practice to figure out the ins-and-outs of some of the unique parts of internet dating sites.

Good luck! Have fun!!! :)

kathi said...

Beware, be careful and have fun!
Is that possible? I met a couple of guys online and had some good times. Most were not so good. Good luck to you! It does work sometimes!

Meri Arnett-Kremian said...

I agree with Hilary about keeping the typing part short and meeting quickly. A lot of times, what seems like chemistry goes kaput when you meet --- energy levels are different, conversational styles are different, a spark is just lacking. And I'd also add that for anyone you're interested in, take name and basic info and then do a court records search. One guy was attractive and intelligent, but when I checked him out on the court site I found a domestic violence proceeding in which he was the alleged abuser and another district (misdemeanor) court case that appeared to be an assault. Both were several years old, but who needs the risk? And another guy had tax liens filed against him four years running. Maybe I'm too picky, but I work hard at being financially responsible. And then there are the vast number of guys who love their motorcycles, RVs, tents, and admiring themselves in mirrors. In two + years of online dating services, I've never found anyone worth a second date. I hope you have better luck!

Elizabeth said...

I second and third the keeping the typing brief and meeting soon - unless you want to type forever.
Will men be daunted by your out-thereness?
Of course, if they are you wouldn't want them anyway.
Just a thought.
Be ever so careful to avoid nuts.
(Thus speaks a professional mother....)
Meet in boring open places.
And yes, people who don't like animals needn't apply.
Wishing you lots of exciting meetings
good food
good conversation
and then who knows what else........
need a picture of a love heart here........
longing to hear your adventures

Anthony and Emily said...

We met on the internet and have been inseparable ever since! My advice is to be honest and be yourself. If they don't like you for who you really are, no big loss on your part! Best of Luck!!!

blonderthanyou said...

wow...
i think youre gonna just love it!
xoxo

Butternut Squash said...

Holy Smokes! OK. It seems practical. You've got to meet somewhere. Why not?

I'm sending you best wishes, and I second Elizabeth's advice.

Chimera said...

Huge luck and will be eagerly waiting to hear how it goes! Might just follow you in...And the photo as always gladdens my heart! Thank you,
Tanvi xx

veach st. glines said...

Well let me be the contrary voice regarding 'length of typing/speed of meeting'.

I met mine on an internet dating site (6+ years together). I think the strongest benefit is the ability to pass e-mail Q&A's back and forth for weeks before you move to phone-calls (for a week or more).

By the time you meet, you've already discussed all your "land mines" and can feel confident about the fact that, "this person could, at the very least, become a friend."

When you 'jump quickly to meeting' (as many people do) you signal you're using the service as a 'hook-up site'.

Which, I suspect, you are not. (?)

Merle Sneed said...

Best of luck!!

SummerShi said...

Reya,

I have been a frequent visitor of your blog since I stumbled across while searching for something to do with the inauguration. I admire your creative photography and have come to enjoy your insights. I look forward to your adventures in the online dating world.

Reya Mellicker said...

Great advice everyone! I have seen "Must Like Dogs" because I LOVE John Cusack. I believe he would be a perfect date for me ... but he does live very far away, in Chicago. Oh well.

Better like bloggers too oh yeah!

I'll type as long as that seems right, then meet when that feels right. I've taken all your great advice in. Thank you!

Might be more fun to write about it here than actually do it! We shall see.

And no, I am not looking for a "hook up." No surprises there!

Amy said...

I'm living proof that the Internet certainly works for finding someone, but meeting someone...well, you're just brave!

Only the best of luck, you active and curious lady!

Natalie said...

Seems to be the way of it these days, Reya. I am sure you will find plenty of Blog Fodder for your adoring readers. :D
I can't wait for all the gory details, being very curious myself! Good Luck, Reya.xx

lacochran said...

I hear 1 in 8 now meet via the Interwebs. It worked for me and the Hubster. (As always,) I wish you luck.

Looking forward to seeing you soon and hearing the lastest scoop.

Lover of Life said...

All they have to do is read your blog to see how special you are.

Our friend found a loving companion from the internet. They are going on five years.

Good luck and keep us "posted" - :-)

Ronda Laveen said...

I know so many couples who have gotten together/married via sites like e-harmony. They are very successful relationships. There are a minimum of 5 couples that I can think of instantly.

I love John Cusak too! Must Love Dogs, Gross Pointe Blank, Hi Fidelity, Serendipity are faves to name a few. Will get with you in a couple of days re: dreams. Computer dying. ARGHHHH!!!!!

Paula and Skip said...

HI just founy yourr and Jake's blog and enjoyed reading along. 2004 I wanted to leave Germany again and in my desire to move to Spain I searched for some friends ( yes, friends ONLY ) on the net and settled for just two people: British Sarah and American Skip. Well, by now I follwed the love of my life to Florida - it can work. However their lots of jerks around too. Be careful and have fun, will check back to see how it goes. Paula xx

Pam said...

Wishing you a happy time Reya, at the very least amusing.Reading your recent posts I'd say you were pretty good at the gut feeling.The general concensus seems to be that there are a lot of success stories out there.You are cluey,fun and creative - that's a powerful combo for such an adventure...oh, and brave! How brave are you!! Can't wait to hear how it goes.Good luck!

ArtSparker said...

Too chicken too try it, but have a friend who went out with only two guys she met on internet, both of them were long- term relationships - that is, she was able to intuit enough about them to choose the ones who made sense for her before meeting them.

Tessa said...

Holey moley, I should think they'd snap you up, girl. Bright, beautiful, intelligent, witty, perceptive, talented and ballsy...want me to do a write-up? Reya out there in dating land - that's going to cause a tremor or two on the ethernet! Can't wait to hear about your adventures...

Reya Mellicker said...

I've been perusing possible matches. The guy who says he "enjoys hamsters" ? Probably not for me!

lol

Jeninacide said...

I was actually on a date with a guy that I had met through an internet dating site when I met my husband. I slipped him my number (discreetly) and we've been together for 4 years. That wasn't exactly how I expected the dating site to work- but work it did!

Robbin'sMama said...

Good luck. Will be watching for an update.

lettuce said...

luck reya

Pouty Lips said...

I found my significant other through one of the online services six years ago. I did it for fun, on a lark, and the outcome was a very unexpected but welcome surprise for me.

Megan said...

Reya, the online thing worked for me and my husband (now married 3.5 years). Practice dating. Get your groove back/on. I agree, e-mail once or twice and then meet in person. You never know who you'll meet!