Sunday, March 1, 2009
Mechanics of Romantics? Don't ask me!
The book, According to the Cosmology of Reya (a book that exists only in my head but from which I can quote on the spot, anytime), is missing an important chapter, the chapter about the cosmology of romantic love. I don't get it.
Of course I'm not the only one who doesn't understand the mysterious force that sometimes flows through two people, turning their worlds upside down for awhile, sometimes forever.
You know that thing that happens in the movies, like in West Side Story when Maria and Tony see each other at the school dance and everything goes away? I've had that happen to me once, long ago. What is it that's happening when everything goes away? Why does everything go away?
Sometimes romantic love arrives smack dab in the middle of an ongoing friendship, like a meteorite from outer space. I hear stories all the time of people who have known each other awhile, maybe they worked together or whatever and were just friends. But then suddenly something happens and then they are in love, just like that. How do you explain that way of falling in love? Does anyone out there have an answer?
A friend says it's the Devil that causes people to fall in love. Other people believe in the metaphor of Cupid's arrow, which is pretty much the same idea, that romantic love comes from out of the nowhere. My working theory of the moment has to do with the idea of confluence; that several different forces of nature coincide in time/space. That confluence creates a critical mass that sparks love whether it's the everything-goes-away variety or the sudden-change-in-an-existing-relationship kind.
As a theory this is rather thin. Maybe that chapter in my book will only be a page or two long, who knows? I'm curious - not about the specifics, and no one has to remind me that hormones, chemistry and willingness are part of the equation, or that those components never guarantee that love will occur. What is going on, beyond what we already know, that brings romantic love into being? Any thoughts?