Sunday, September 2, 2012

The hard work of healing



The bloody fucking blue full moon from hell has peaked and is now on the wane. Thank god! It was a strenuous moon that brought many helpful insights and incredibly healing dreams. I journeyed back to a painful era of personal history and connected with an old friend I thought I had lost forever. Then I read this, by one of my favorite astrologers:
Was your blue moon blue? The Moon was conjunct Chiron aka as "The Wounded Healer". Old wounds and a confrontation with your own wounded self may have been front and center these last few days, but remember that facing these parts of yourself with love and compassion can bring healing, even if it feels hard and painful at the time. Hang in there folks you are not alone....

Thanks Fern! I've been looking at my old wounds all summer, actually all year, but something did indeed peak in the last few days.

I am comforted when I discover that I've been dancing in alignment with the larger energies, almost always. I love blaming that old devil moon anytime I'm flopping around. And I am a healer, hence must engage almost constantly, or so it seems, in self healing. It is strenuous but I don't mean to complain.


I've been thinking about something the Sufi acupuncturist said this past week. I was talking to him about how the Holocaust is a part of me, has always been with me. I said, "I can't explain why. My parents subjected my siblings to the same awful photographs of the emaciated bodies stacked up in piles, they told my sisters and brothers about the camps and Hitler, too, just as they told me. But, although my sisters and brother remember and honor that terrible era, it isn't in them, with them, as it is for me."

He said, "But they aren't healers."

Oh.

A classic example of shamanic healing has to do with taking on the illness of others, then battling the soul of the illness as one would a "real" enemy, eventually (one hopes) defeating that enemy. One-on-one it might be possible, but what is with me taking on these huge spirals of wounded energy?

I remember my shamanic work on the Civil War battlefields. I tried so hard to do good there, but the energy of that war is potent to this day and anyway, Reya vs. the Civil War was never a fair contest. It was Bambi Meets Godzilla.

I'm still drawn to the battlefields, but I avoid them. I learned my lesson. Now I'm taking on the task of rising from the ashes of the Holocaust. I want to honor, to remember, but I would prefer to spend my remaining days in this body less involved with this slowly unwinding horror. The walk through the museum earlier this summer, the tattoo, was part of that effort. It will be ongoing for awhile, I think.

I wonder if I'll be able to do it. Ya think?

Happy Sunday. Shalom.

5 comments:

ellen abbott said...

the hard work of healing. once you take in that energy and battle it, you need to release, no? you've taken it in and battled it, now perhaps, it's time to let it go.

Reya Mellicker said...

You are very wise. I'm ready to let go!

Kerry said...

I think you are already doing it, honoring and remembering while keeping yourself sane.

I believe you are too well-grounded to become completely unspooled by the horrors of the past.

Pam said...

I think it's necessary to establish boundaries with issues you have described so well.
Illnesses, psychic pain, certainly do have a "soul" of the illness and can be petulant, reluctant to come forward,demanding,even sneaky! - all those things.
When any entity, pain or otherwise, wishes to be heard, a good listener is often grasped with relief.
You are so wise Reya, but as a healer you have every right, and do doubt a heartfelt need, to say "enough now, I'm tired, I need to recharge".
As I've watched my husband go through many (some life-threatening) health issues, I am so grateful to the surgeons and specialists who manage and take charge of what's happening. I am in awe of their ability to maintain such a professionally stable stance in sometimes heartbreaking work, particularly with children.
I know many of them see the 'soul of the illness' as you put it. I feel their ability. Its also what desperate parents look for in a health team when their child is chronically ill. God bless all healers. Great post.

Reya Mellicker said...

Thank you Pam! Thank you.

Kerry if there had been a video made at Antietam when I did my ritual there, you might have to think twice about my grounding. I learned the hard way for sure. X