Sunday, April 22, 2012

Weirdo



I didn't mean to whine in the last post. Seriously I do wonder sometimes if I will end my days here. I am very much an odd duck in the beautiful, powerful, unbalanced city of Washington DC. Nevertheless, in my community I am accepted and appreciated. I do not take that for granted.

It's a little bit lonely, but perhaps this theme is a part of my life story and I should embrace it. I was the black sheep in my family growing up, also in school. When I was 23 I left Kansas City to become a stranger in the very strange land of the Pacific Northwest. That landscape never felt right to me. As I began to adjust, I moved again, and again, and again. Lord I have been a ramblin' woman, repeatedly placing myself in unfamiliar situations.

Perhaps being The Other, as it were, is the way I roll. I never thought about it that way. Here on East Capitol Street I stick out like a sore thumb, shaking my rain stick, talking to the cloud people, listening to the rustle of the leaves, laughing at the silly ghosts. Yes I am a few chips short of a fish dinner in the eyes of the people who live here, perhaps, but I believe I am well received by the well-to-do, high achieving, whip smart denizens of Capitol Hill. They sprint past the chateau after a 12 hour work day because they have to stay in shape, they must stay sharp. They're plugged in to NPR, or talking on the phone. They wave and smile while I'm dancing in shamanic alignment with the rosemary bush.

Ha. Well, perhaps I will end my days in Washington DC. My spirit guides say you never know what's going to happen. For today, I'm putting this topic on ice. Life is good and I am grateful even if I whine occasionally. Shalom.

18 comments:

steven said...

reya! otherness is a good place. isnt it?! being other is harder work, it can be a lonely place, it's wallpapered with self-doubt which is the skin of self-awareness. the floor of other is carpeted with the mythology of our past and all the pasts that arrive in us. but look out the windows, open the doors and other is the most amazing, beautiful, wondrous, transformative place of all . . . . there y'are!!! steven

X said...

Steven is right. The perspective of Other is enchanted and ancient. You are like that beautiful rose. Where I am now I do not fit in either. I follow my heart and it takes me to places others only read about. I feel your time here in DC is limited to. Make the most of it. But as a wise and beautiful shaman once told me
Be here now.
So Reyasdottir be here for now.
Your heart will let you know when it's time to leave this place.

Reya Mellicker said...

Steven! How wonderful to "see" you, to read your words!

You, too, X.

I just need to get out of town for awhile, I think. I need to buy an airplane ticket. That's all. Thanks for the encouragement. xx oo to you both.

X said...

Vacation is highly recommended ... The planning for a trip can be very fulfilling as well. Perhaps your blog family has suggestions... I recimmend the enchanted circle between Taos and Mesa verde. I have friends with a place you might like. Let's chat offline about that sometime maybe coffee this week? :) Ha!
Xx

Reya Mellicker said...

I hate planning trips. I'm glad some people enjoy it.

I'll go to Eugene to see my sister. I am an awful tourist. I travel to get away and to see people I love.

Rebecca Clayton said...

I loved D.C., but felt like it was going to be the death of me. But I have a strange reaction whenever you talk about going to live somewhere else--I think, "No, don't go!"

I can't explain it--it's none of my business anyway, and I know as well as anyone good reasons for leaving. Plus, I only "see" you on the internet, which could go on anywhere.

Maybe it's not my reaction at all--maybe I'm channeling the city's need to keep you. Well, that's your area of expertise. I'm just providing this odd data point for you.

Out-of-town trips are always a good idea. That "inside the Beltway" mindset is real, and needs to get shaken up regularly.

Reya Mellicker said...

Oh Rebecca, I have the same feeling. May I also say I trust your instincts completely! Thanks for weighing in.

My spirit guides say 'you're just where you need to be.'

I need a break and also it's spring. Being restless is a part of the energy of the season. Yes?

ellen abbott said...

I've always been the odd man out too. But that is me and it feels normal and natural. It's the majority that is weird.

Val said...

i am with Steven but could never have put it so eloquently! we all have different things to do in this life, and loneliness is part of the human condition i think?

Elizabeth said...

I'm so glad you are in sharmic accord with the rosemary bush.
Yes, you do seem a bit anomalous in DC.......
maybe you were planted there to add balance?

ox

Reya Mellicker said...

There is nothing about rosemary I dislike. It's excellent for everything!

Yes Val, of course you are correct - everyone feels lonely at times. Thanks.

Kerry said...

Washington is the perfect place for you. I can't imagine you somewhere else right now. But I do hope you come to see your sister in OR; that would be a good visit to make.

John and I will be in Japan late June-early July, but aside from that I plan to be around most of the summer. It would be fun to meet!

Val said...

I would love to see you dancing in shamanic alignment with the rosemary bush in your neighbourhood; Your presence in our lives - whether etheric or physical - is pure treasure found x

Pam said...

Agree with Val. Your "aloness" and uniqueness is what we treasure, and self-effacement - your 'few chips short of a fish dinner' is funny. Here in Australia we say ' a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock". You are neither. You are unique, blessed in the other that Steven talks about, and soon to be refreshed by a holiday by the sounds of it! Enjoy. I can't begin to imagine how creative you'll be with your camera!

Steve Reed said...

You'll know when it's time to make a change, Reya. Until then, enjoy where you are. :)

(Love that pano of the Capitol, by the way...)

Reya Mellicker said...

a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock

Ha!! I used to collect versions of this. I also love "doesn't have all her dirt in one spot."

There are a million ways to say someone is just plain nuts!

mockingbirdsatmidnight.com said...

I've found that sometimes there is a clash between being different from those around me, and yet the place calls so strongly to me that I have to stay. It's an odd feeling, isn't it?

Reya Mellicker said...

It can be.