Tuesday, July 12, 2011

I think, therefore I was, am and will be?

"The body is not a thing, it is a situation. It is our grasp on the world and a sketch of our projects." ~Simone de Beauvoir

I love these two pics, wish I had something interesting to say today to go with them. I'm still thinking about all the same things: emotional resiliency and whether it's truly possible to clean the slate of the mind and heart.

The body, at least, can never be totally wiped clean of the past. The flu is vanquished but the antibodies remain, the knee is repaired but there will always be a scar. Whatever it is we do or don't do is clearly reflected in our flesh, our bones. Even the way we think is reflected in the structure of our brains! That is so crazy. The way we walk, talk, move through the world reveals not only what is presently occurring, but everything we have ever done. People who have a habit of smiling look very different than the frowners, even when their facial expressions are neutral. Our bodies are deeply historical - we even see how our parents lived, moved, and behaved, in our bodies.

Maybe it's perfectly natural that my heart carries within it a "photo album" of a million different emotional states; snapshots of the angers and exhiliarations, sadnesses and happy moods, longings, griefs, and excitements I have experienced in my 58 years. Maybe it's OK that so many events are (it seems) forever etched into my memory. Maybe.

I know there's a bit about letting go that I haven't quite wrapped my head around yet, also something about trust, that is, the lack thereof, which sometimes prevents me from taking a big breath and simply releasing what was, in order to make room for what is to come.

Maybe there's plenty of room for everything - what was, what is, what will be. Maybe my being is spacious enough for trust and no trust, for "good" and "bad," for all the paradoxes inherent in being a human being. Ya think? Maybe. Still thinking about it.


Cyndy said...

That last paragraph - I say not maybe. Yes. Absolutely.

And there is probably some relevant symbolism in the bottom photo pertaining to the way the parallel lines on the street become lines (of thinking perhaps?)that both converge and go apart but I haven't had my coffee yet so that's about as deep as I can go with that at this early hour.

Reya Mellicker said...

Ha!! Still way deep, Cyndy. I love the grays and reds in these pics, shades of differentiation, but no black or white. Nope.

Reya Mellicker said...

Wait, it's 11:25 and you haven't had your coffee? Oh yeah - you're a real musician, hence 11:30 is an early hour. Very cool!

Angela said...

Yes, room enough for contradiction. The whole world is a contradiction. There is no truth without the exact opposite ALSO being true. That is confusing, but also freeing, don`t you think? What we`ve got to find is balance. But as we are shaky people by nature, balance never stays long with us. So just enjoy what comes your way, Reya, and be one of the smiling people. I know you are.

Reya Mellicker said...

Aha yes - shaky people by nature. Yes indeed

Pam said...

In relation to "the body as a map",I've always loved those very old faces with the twinkling eyes -mischievous, and wished I had that "play with life" etched in my face, but I think you would have to have been graced with a certain type of life and circumstances don't you think?
Had a dream the other night where I was told to "let it all go - everything... from the wisdom of Saint Stephen". What the ? Knowing nothing of this saint other than his association with martydom, and I don't see myself as a martyr I had to look up details and history.
Funnily enough, I found he took on the role of protector of older women and their well-being!!
We have a very old saying here in Australia as an expression of amazament..."Well, stone the crows!" Don't think it would impress St. Stephen much!...and as for wise, between you and me Reya, I think he would have been wiser to have kept his mouth shut to avoid the mighty power of the pebble!! Still I'll take it for what it is and encourage you also to 'let go' also.

Reya Mellicker said...

Pam I love how you show up here at the perfect moments, say the perfect things. Thank you.

Pauline said...

I don't know that we ever "let go" of things so much as find a place for them. It's when we haul them out and pour over them, dwell on them, make them more important than the now that we get uncomfortable. We're walking-around sacks of thoughts and events and impressions and ideas and contradictions and opinions. I think memories reside in our very cells - get rid of them and you'd have Ground-hog Day over and over (remember that movie?). There's a difference, I think, in remembering and replacing. Nothing wrong with remembering as long as you don't let the memories replace today's experience. (Climbing down off soap box.)

Reya Mellicker said...

Pauline you are brilliant. Walking around sacks of thoughts memories, etc. Wow. That is SO true.

Everything you said resonates deeply. very cool!

C.M. Jackson said...

letting go is one of the toughest things to do--you say it so beautifully that I wonder if we should hold on and really look at all sides of the issue without so much thinking about letting go...the yin and the yang..thanks as always for your wise words..

Rob-bear said...

Rene Descartes went into a bar.
The bar keeper said, "Care for a beer?"
Descartes said, "I think not."
He hasn't been seen or heard from since.
Please keep thinking, Reya. About the paradoxes of the human experience, and how to live creatively within the confines.
Blessings and Bear hugs.