Wednesday, January 13, 2010
What would Goldilocks do?
Yesterday while I was working on my systemic re-ordering of the planets, I was simultaneously having a gentle laugh at myself. I'm not nearly a good enough astrologer to take on this project. For heaven's sake! My intention in writing "The New Astrology: On the Drawing Board" is to throw down the gauntlet to real astrologers, kick their asses into gear, or at least get them interested. It's a modest ambition, thank God.
Though I am occasionally entranced with the idea of creating some sort of legacy, over time, most of the huge ambitions of youth have faded, or been plucked out of my head and heart. Ten years ago I had a lengthy list of places I wanted to visit, subjects I wanted to study, things I wanted to accomplish. I wanted to be remembered. Now? It doesn't seem so important.
Today, on the verge of turning 57, I can with all honesty say that there are only two places I've never been that I would still love to see before my time is up: Iceland and South Africa. That's it. I've released my desire to become fluent in Italian and Mandarin. Instead I'd like to keep my mind sharp by expanding - and using - my English vocabulary.
Having ambitions requires a lot of energy and takes up a lot of space; in fact, it's exhausting! My more modest goals for this last bit of my lifetime fit better, feel better when I think about them. Modest ambitions provide a lot more wiggle room than I used to give myself.
As far as the new astrology is concerned, I don't have to invent it all on my own. I'm content to put a few first draft ideas out there and see what happens next. Somebody else can figure it out, yes? I say yes! What a relief!
Not everything about aging is bad, believe me!