Saturday, January 23, 2010

Parallel Existence


This pink building on Pennsylvania Avenue has been standing forever. I see it all the time in old paintings of the Capitol.

One of my FB friends has suggested that we post, as profile pics, images of fictional characters who best represent us. I am completely stumped by that suggestion. What fictional character best represents me?? Who knows?

Maybe that's why I dreamed last night about the art professor - not the art professor I had the tragic affair with, no, I dreamed about his best friend at the time, also an art professor who also had an affair with a young girl in his class, but the professor I dreamed about last night, in "real life" all those years ago, divorced his wife, married the young girl, had kids and - as far as I know - lived happily ever after.

In the case of my tragic affair, the art professor confided in his wife whom he did not divorce and who, later on, blamed me when she developed spinal cancer that she died from a couple of years later. Can you imagine how many years of psychotherapy it took to unravel that adventure? Wow.

Is that a case of parallel existence? The two art professors, the two affairs? Hmmm ... probably not, eh? Nevertheless, there he was in my dream, the other art professor, middle-aged and pudgy, gray haired, still married to the girl who without a doubt is no longer a young girl with long pretty hair.

As for a fictional character that best represents me, I'm unable to think of even one candidate. In my "real" life I often already feel like a fictional character, maybe that's why I'm so befuddled.


It's only now I can accept that when I photograph my shadow, Jake's shadow will not be standing nearby.

16 comments:

John Hayes said...

"In my "real" life I often already feel like a fictional character"--yes, I know that feeling. I also saw the fictional character thing on FB & was likewise completely stumped!

Reya Mellicker said...

Glad I wasn't the only one!

ellen abbott said...

I wouldn't have the faintest idea either.

And WOW about your experience with the art professor and his wife. No way were you responsible, her cheating husband perhaps. And how cruel of her to blame you. Perhaps her innate cruelty was responsible not only for her cancer but for her husband straying.

Reya Mellicker said...

I was 20 years old. The professor and his wife were barely into their thirties. None of us was prepared to deal with the situation which is why it was so devasting. All of us flopped around.

It's ancient history now, thank God.

steven said...

hi reya - there are fictions people create for us to understand us and fictions we create for them to understand us. i'm thinking about this and i can't help wondering if it would be easier to figure out which ficitonal character we most closely resemble by writing down the names of fictional characters we wish we were. pick out the salient points of each that really appeal, mix 'em all together and maybe you'll see "reya"! or "ellen" or "steven" . . . . . i saw several relationships like the one you were inside when i was in undergrad cultural studies. several flourished and survived. a few wobbled, teetered and imploded. have a peaceful day with your shadow. steven

Barry said...

Blaming you for her cancer approaches evil, Reya. It really does.

I'm not sure what this fictional character thing is all about but I suspect I'm more like Dr. Watson, but wish I was Sherlock Holmes (although with a more interesting sex life).

lakeviewer said...

At times, we feel as though we are walking in a movie, scenes selected by some director, lines not our own. Pinch me!

Linda Sue said...

I would say to choose somebody full of majic, like Glenda the Good, clearly you have majic, like a mirror! You show people who they are. You look squarely at the witch of the north and say "you have no power here!" Yeah, our 20's were squirrely to be sure and that woman could not face what she saw in the mirror, denial is a safety net for some...her only way out, her only way to deal with illness and death, I suppose.So I choose Glenda the Good as your fictional character, besides she wore that gorgeous huge pink glittery dress, and wouldn't you like to try that on?

Reya Mellicker said...

Barry she was so pissed off. I don't blame her at all. Really. May she rest in peace.

What fictional character would I LIKE to be? Hmmm ...wow ... OK Steven I'm going to think about that. Thanks!

Nancy said...

I have no idea who I would be either. Now if I could have an avatar...

Tom said...

there is no way i am a fictional character in a parallel existence, because i am waaaayyy too boring.

Mary Ellen said...

I often sense there's a disconnect between the "me" from the inside looking out and the person that someone on the outside experiences me to be. I have no idea, really, what either of these selves resembles. I'm curious about how your dream and the two different stories that were evoked ties in with this fictional character idea - perhaps that it's happenstance which road we end up on, with all of the ways we are impacted through the years. That would make the "character" something fairly random. I'm uneasy with that idea, but my dreams also seem to play with very protean "selves".

Ronda Laveen said...

I saw that FB meme posted too and it went right over my head. Nothing seemed to fit.

I still find myself looking for Jake's shadow too. Hmmm...maybe The Shadow would fit me.

lettuce said...

i was completely stumped by that one too.

the beloved dog of a close friend died recently and of course I thought of you.
sweet jake.

x

California Girl said...

I first saw the movie, "Gone With the Wind" as a teenager. It was in theatrical re-release in LA. All my girlfriends and I went to see it in one of the fancy old theatres, possibly the Cathay Circle. After that, I likened myself to Scarlett O'Hara. I LOVED her. She was tough, resilient, beautiful, irresistible to men; all things I wanted to be. My adoration of Scarlett lasted many years and I really did identify with her. If I had to pick one now, boy, that would take some doing. I read a great deal and find myself identifying with aspects of characters but nothing stands out.

"I'll just think about it tomorrow. For tomorrow is another day."

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