Friday, June 5, 2009

When it Rains



I must have seasonal affective disorder. After two solid days of rain, the stories that are running through my head are all about doom, gloom and hopelessness. What my head is telling me is that I'm going to hell in a handbasket, as we used to say in the midwest.

I know better than to believe the content of my stories. The "truth" is: there's always something to be worried about, always something to be joyful about, too. It's my mind's job to continually devise storylines as a way to explain my emotional situation. My cerebral cortex wants to make sense of my emotions. Silly cerebral cortex! Emotions are not rational! In a certain way I admire the storytelling aspect of being a human. Though futile (in terms of finding reasons for emotional fluctuations), it is so creative.

Because I meditate, I know that the stories are fleeting, ever changing to fit the mood of the moment. It's the framework beneath the story that's significant. A quick examination of the framework beneath my emotions reveals that it is, as you might imagine, completely soggy. No wonder, then, that my mental soundtrack is woeful, a sad tune played in a minor key. On days like this it's clear why I had such a hard time when I lived in the Pacific Northwest. Whoa.

Even in the midst of my emotional slog, (because I meditate) I can remember that this, too, shall pass. It's supposed to clear up tomorrow. A visual infusion of bright blue sky and some gold rays from Brother Sun should pop me out of this foul mood straightaway. I can't wait!


Part of a Ralph Waldo Emerson quote carved into the stone at Freedom Plaza. "Amid the swamps ..." Oh yeah.

29 comments:

Natalie said...

Loved the photo of the rain drops.You are wise - and I am tired, so I bid you goodnight.xx♥

Elizabeth said...

It will eventually be sunny......maybe
rain in NY too
but it will me hot when we meet in AUGUST
a pat for Jake

Joanne said...

We've had a very gray and overcast Spring in New England. I'm hoping that the summer is a bright and sunny one, if not for my sake, then for my poor tomato and zinnia plants sake!

ellen abbott said...

I gotta have the sun. Could never live where it is overcast all the time. That said, I wish we would get some rain. Even though you know the cause and that it will pass, the waiting can be dreary. Hope you have a sunny day today.

John Hayes said...

Yes, we do need stories. Lately I've been pretty obsessed with a song called "A Meaning or A Message" by John Boutté & Paul Sanchez. It's about Hurricane Katrina, but it could be about anything that shakes up our life. The song is on an excellent album called ”Stew Called New Orleans”

Lynne said...

You've had more rain than we have lately. We've mostly had gray, dreary days without any reason (rain). Today is drippy too, but we need the moisture so I am trying not to mind too much. The weekend is supposed to be really nice! I am ready for some summer!!

Rain said...

My mood isn't the chirpiest when it's overcast and somber out either! Next time it rains really hard, run outside and get yourself soaked, that could give you a little boost! I did that the other day, in shorts and a tank top and it was cccccold! I was screaming from it, but I ended up laughing my head off!

Sandra Leigh said...

Out here, we're having the opposite problem. All over town, there are groups of people huddled together, pointing at the sky, crying "What is that big, bright thing? Eek. It hurts my eyes!"

JC said...

We've had your sunshine all week.

You keep my rain for a bit longer .. please !!!

deborah said...

Regina Spector
loudly
first album

green tea with lemon

Channel's Chance -- ummmmm

"Grey skies are gonna clear up. . ."
"Mr. Bluebird's on my shoulder. ."
"OKLAHOMA where the winds come sweepin down the plain. ."
"I think I go back to San Juan
I know a boat you can get on. ."
"I'm just a girl who can't say no. ."
"Singing in the Rain, Just Singing in the Rain, What a glorious feeling, I'm . . ."

Regina, tea, perfume and Broadway Musicals to You
with all my love

karen said...

Hoping for a wonderful, sunny weekend for you! x

Madame Ladybug (Ady) said...

Doesn't everybody say hell in a handbasket. Is that really a midwestern phrase?

Donna said...

When it rains it pours.We just had alot of rain that came through Greenville North Carolina. My boyfriend left all the windows in the house open. yeah Iwas mad,but hey its just water.LOL!! Give Jake abig hug.I love animals.

Andrea said...

I too am so affected by the lack of sunlight - my demeanor, energy level, mood all change depending on the sun! I know tomorrow (forecasted to be sunny) I will more chipper, with lots of energy and oh so grateful.

ArtSparker said...

David Hume said reason is the slave of the passions...sometimes this is not a good thing.

Karen said...

I have the same problem! If it's sunny out, I feel like everything is possible, do-able; if it's rainy or dreary, I feel like I can barely get out of my pjs. I call it my adventures in being a human barometer. (I also have a knee that can predict snow and a head that reacts to air pressure changes by getting migraines. whee!) Lately I've been trying to remember that a) there's a sun above the clouds still shining, and b) the plants need it.

Wishing you a sunny day tomorrow!

poietes said...

Reya,
My father had SAD, and I believe that I suffer from it too. Februaries are unbearable for me, and a week of constant rain makes me gloomy.

But I love your rain picture. Would you mind if I used it in a post, with attribution to you and your site, of course?

Mad Texter said...

Don't worry, Annie, the sun 'el come out tomorrow, because Scarlet said, "Tomorra IS anotha day."

Besides, dogs love it after a fresh rain!

lakeviewer said...

We need the sun; and we need the rain; and snow to provide water when we can't find it handy; and wind to clear the sky, move the clouds and spread the seeds. Ah, to have it all on demand!

Bee said...

Gorgeous big splashes of raindrops. It looks like we are getting rain, too -- just in time for Sports Day (yuck) -- but my roses need it.

I can enjoy a bit of melancholy, but the truth is most things thrive better in the sun.

Siobhán said...

Much and all as I'd love to meet you Reya; having read this post...

DON'T COME TO IRELAND!

Susan said...

I love the photo! I feel exactly the same way today. Because I meditate, I also know "this to shall pass." Wishing you sunnier days!

Reya Mellicker said...

Siobhan - lol! If I was on my way to Ireland, I would be prepared for the rain. In fact, I would love to come to Ireland sometime.

poietes - Feel free to nick the photo and anything else you find here. Everyone on the internet is in the public domain. Thanks for asking, though! How nice of you.

John, don't know if we need stories, but we are definitely serious about our stories. It's a defining characteristic of our species, having an ongoing narrative.

I know we need all different kinds of weather, but you see, Rosaria, that's a rational idea and has no effect whatsoever on my emotional state. Thanks, though. It's a good reality check.

Thanks for all the well wishes. In fact, working all day today really cheered me up. It's still grey, but I'm feeling much better.

Reya Mellicker said...

Madame Ladybug, I have never heard an east coast person say they (or we) are going to hell in a handbasket, unless that person had lived in the midwest. I think we midwesterners can lay claim to it.

Gary said...

Yes, it shall pass. I think there must be downs and I am with you at the moment. Not horribly down just not myself under the rain and poison ivy.

so, thinking of you dear Reya.

Poetikat said...

I understand your moods being affected by the perpetual rain. I get very melancholy in the rain, but it somehow invigorates me, nonetheless. I sometimes prefer it to the blazing sun. I sometimes prefer the melancholy to being cheery.

Kat

Reya Mellicker said...

Poetikat: I am with you. There are times when melancholy is perfect. I'm no proponent of the always happy thoughtform, in fact, it kind of creeps me out.

But I've had enough rain for the time being, thank you very much!

lettuce said...

the black and white photo is very evocative

i hope you get your sunshine back soon

Verily I go. said...

Reya you give us the most amazing wondrous stuff with your camera. I love the rain, buckets. Lovely weekend.