Monday, August 11, 2008

Stuckness and Other Obsessions

Obsession in its mild or virulent forms is counter-intuitive, given the transitory reality in which we live. And yet obsession is so pervasive. Whether it's with a person, a TV show or just something that happened, I can get into an obsessive thought loop so easily, end up trapped, like a hamster on a wheel, running over the same thoughts again and again. To what end? You tell me. I find these thought loops frustrating, boring and exhausting. And yet I persist in the behavior (though not nearly as vehemently as I used to).

The Sufi acupuncturist would ask how I benefit from my obsessions. What need are they fulfilling in my life, body and being? Such good questions, aren't they? What I believe for myself is that the urge to keep chewing on that which could so easily be laid to rest is just an old habit I'm finally getting around to changing.

Among other things, this recent bout of sky gazing is helping my mind learn how to be flexible, especially in terms of letting go - of whatever - when it's time to do so. A deep, respectful bow to Tengri, the Eternal Blue Sky. Thank you, Sky God. Thanks.


Merle Sneed said...

Man I used to be a world-class obsesser. Like you, I am finally learning that it is futile.

Adrianne said...

I think that I historically have obsessed because "obsession mode" is what I was taught as a child and, until recently, it never occurred to me that there was any other way. It is so strange to me that sometimes the really simple things, such as the fact that we have choices about how we interact with the world, are the hardest to see. And even when we see an alternative, choosing it can be difficult when it is so unfamiliar. But man, when I can bring myself to do it, letting things simply be instead of chewing them to death actually does feel quite wonderful!

P.S. That top picture is gorgeous -- is it a photo or a watercolor?

Reya Mellicker said...

It's a photo that's been photoshopped with the "dry brush" option. Made the image more interesting, I decided.

Thanks, Adrianne!

dennis said...

Dennis loves your photo. Dennis is obsessive for 1 minute, then bored and hungry for a new obsession.

Reya Mellicker said...

Dennis gets the best of all worlds!

Anonymous said...

The cloud looks like a giant comet. Neat!

deborah said...

returning to the thought
again and again
is mantra to me

i've finally accepted
that when this occurs
i need to drop away into it
and move with its resonating
pattern of tone or cadence
until it calms my winding soul
until i can comprehend its presence
in a way that quiets my heart
rather than angers
or frustrates
or ramps things up

i'll move off a street
to sit with a repeating phrase
or pattern

so probably
certified crazy
better for the experience

round and round the rugged
rock exercycle pattern

love you so much,

jack said...

Stunning picture, Rebecca. Really. If this is the result of obsession, then all I can say is "More." But that's what I always say.
Love to you

Steve said...

That's a terrific pic on the bottom!

I get obsessed too, occasionally -- I guess it must have helped us at one time or another, as cave-people, though I'm not sure how. Otherwise, why would our brains have evolved this way? Maybe it helped us stay focused.