Thursday, April 24, 2008
In the Chute
Right at the very end of the end of all things (relationships, living situations, etc. though in this case I'm talking about a work space), what I want to do is zip ahead in time, skip the final dregs of emotion, the packing up, the final argument, the last bits of cleaning up. Dragging through the last few days of anything is very difficult.
And so it goes as I count down the days until I'm out of Healing Arts. My dream life is crazy with dreams of needing to do a massage but not having a space, or I go to the space and there are all the anonymous dream people sitting around, eating cheetos and making a mess. I'm screaming at them GET OUT but they're completely unmoved by my vehemence. Or I can't find the massage table or the boombox or my massage cream.
I wake up from these nightmares exhausted.
The departure itself, from any kind of situation, is very exciting to me, even if I'm particularly attached to whatever I'm leaving. My mantra this week is my favorite line from the film Titanic. It's delivered by a steerage passenger to her young child.
"It'll all be over soon."