Friday, April 4, 2008
The Daily Grind
Sometimes I love my daily routine. I should say usually I love it. Wake up at the same time, do all the morning stuff in the usual order: shower, meditate, walk dog, drink coffee, read blogs, go to work, etc. Routine makes me feel safe and secure. I feel contained in a rational structure of first I do this, then I do that.
Some days I feel trapped by my routines and long for anything different. The usual habits seem stifling, make me claustrophobic. I begin to wonder why why why why. You know the feeling?
When I was younger, sometimes I would just pack up all my stuff and move to another city, start from scratch there. The benefits of these impulsive moves to far distant time zones were mixed. I did get to start anew, oh yes, but I also had to rebuild my life over and over again which meant it wasn't possible to evolve my relationships with the landscapes, communities, jobs, or neighborhoods in which I lived. Lord, I was born a ramblin' man! And my life was a house of cards, rising and falling every few years in accord with my restlessness.
Not so much anymore. I could see remaining on the east coast until the moment I complete my daily grind forever. These days I look to the turning of the moon as a substitute for moving to a new city. It's not as dramatic, but serves the purpose. Or at least that's what I tell myself when I get antsy.
Boy have I been antsy lately! But ... today is the turning of the moon, offering me the possibility of recovering a molecule of beginner's mind. That's a good thing. Welcome, new moon. Welcome!