Tuesday, October 25, 2011
At the end of my work day yesterday, I walked the circuit around Lincoln Park, snapped a few pics of the sunset. I did not engage with anyone, not humans, or dogs, or birds, not even the trees. A brief wave at the Cloud People was all I had the wherewithall to manage. After that I closed and locked the front door to the chateau, spent the evening blissfully alone.
Sometimes - even still - I wonder why, in this lifetime, I was not able to successfully partner. Sometimes I blame myself, feel defective, lonely and such because of my spinsterhood. But after a busy week like last week I can see underneath the self-blame. Truth is, I was built for solitude. Being single keeps me healthy and happy. This is actually not a defect. Hmm.
Last night I slept long and hard, dreamed many dreams. When I finally woke up this morning, the thought came to me that when I don't get enough time to recharge away from the realm of others, my brain gets brittle. All that grey goo inside my skull shrivels, dries out. I "saw" my brain, huddled in the corner of my skull, shivering, shrunken and puny. I'm sure this is not literally true, but metaphorically? Oh yeah.
This morning my brain feels bouncy, plump, juicy and ready for a day spent with people I love among the magnificent trees at the National Arboretum. The weather in DC is supposed to be perfect; highs in the upper 60s today with abundant sunshine.
Looking forward to re-engaging with the world of humans today, in a limited way, since mostly we will be hanging out with trees. Who doesn't love a big ole convo of trees? I mean really!