Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Tilt



I'm so grateful for Astrobarry, Astrology for People Who Think for explaining my ongoing bout of total, unmitigated, off the charts, effin', soul stretchin', mind bendin' drama. THANK YOU, Barry. If you wonder why I'm so nuts right now, click the link. He says it all.

I know I don't have to move through this alone. Operators are standing by. Indeed I've been calling on all my spirit guides, animal guides, God, angels, the ancestors and so on, to please guide and help me. Friends have kept me busy drinking and feasting. I have such great friends!

There's no such thing as backing out of all this, oh no. The tunnel has collapsed behind us so there is no choice except to move forwards. My goal is to stand tall with my shoulders back, to begin every day with a positive attitude, to keep listening and keep learning. This period of time is definitely not all "bad," I should say. It's a time of reinvention, personally and collectively. I have experienced so many ah-ha! moments, something I appreciate even when the process of attaining these revelations is difficult or strenuous.

When not in a state of total consternation, I've been having a good time looking through old journals (as I pack and throw out old stuff in preparation for the move). I'm not reading every one of my old journals, oh no. But for fun I decided to look at summer solstice in some of the books, see what I was writing about. Here are a few of my favorite solstice entries:

June 21, 1977: "A small quarrel with Miles was blown out of proportion. I should never argue while detoxifying from an acid trip."

Haha!! I should say so!!

June 21, 1980: "Watching Cosmos and feeling like a puny human."

June 21, 1983: "High on my last line of coke, I found myself downtown."

No wonder I barely remember that period of time. Whoa.

June 21, 1990: "In my dream I had decided to move east of the Mississippi, to a humid landscape. In the dream I am happy with this decision. Wake up and wonder what the fuck that was all about. I'll never leave San Francisco."

June 21, 1992: "Solstice at the beach was great. I never mean to take off my clothes and jump in the ocean, but in the moment, it always feels like the perfect thing to do. I have lost all self consciousness. What a good thing."

June 21, 1996: "I do create for myself intense situations of transformation."

June 21, 2001: "What is the measure of life's satisfactions?
- Juiciness, all are fed
- Salt and honey
- Remembering that we join a party already in progress
- Rattling the bones!
- Hand holding"

June 21, 2010: "Epic love stories call for qualities I've wished to develop; a capacity to gently hold the deepest ache of love while neither grasping nor pushing it away. The practice builds character. I GUESS. Fuck that! ... I guess I should be rattling instead of writing."

We live in interesting times, y'all. Shalom.

25 comments:

ellen abbott said...

I loved reading your solstice entries! I never kept a journal, at least not until I started blogging. I guess this is a journal of sorts.

Not feeling any great push or transformation myself but I found it very interesting that the 60s occurred during the same planetary line-up. Wow. Can't wait to see what comes of this one.

Reya Mellicker said...

Some days I believe I CAN wait ... other days I feel the excitement.

You've been re-inventing yourself for awhile, moving to the country and such. You got a head-start on the stars. Well done, you!

Merle Sneed said...

The evolving Reya is an interest person. Aren't you glad the 'good old days' are behind you? I wouldn't want to go back.

willow said...

What? The tunnel has collapsed behind us? And maybe for the best, huh? The '92 Solstice sounds interesting...

Reya Mellicker said...

Oh yeah, Merle. I am SO glad to be where I am, thank you very much!

I also wrote a lot about being "horny." I forgot all about that word. It's so impersonal, has nothing to do with desire or love. I do NOT miss youthful hormones. No way!

Willow that was a Reclaiming solstice ritual practice, building a wicker man, jumping in to the Pacific to cleanse, then dancing around the fire afterwards. I never was a great Pagan; hated running around naked. Oh well.

lakeviewer said...

You are in the middle of something, both rattling off old things, and looking forward to new and exciting beginnings. Carry on.

Everton Terrace said...

I've never been good at keeping a journal. Thank you for asking about my Jake. I'm afraid it isn't good news. Our home is empty and our hearts are heavy. It has been a very difficult few days.

glnroz said...

good morning, ms Reya, I have been "skipping school" it seems. Clicked on. I need to read "back" and see what has been happnin'. I kinda grinned at this, not sure where it was supposed to be going but i felt a flitter of excitment about it all.

Mrsupole said...

My bones are rattling around. My brain is rattling around. I think it is the time of shake, rattle, and roll.

Life is about change, to change is to grow. Love how with each solstice you grew, and swimning in the beach nude really does show what a free spirit you were at that time. Kudos for being able to do it. I do not think I have ever felt free enough to do that after becoming an adult. Maybe when I was young but would never be able to now. Although whenever I got wasted I did strip down to my undies but mostly because I was so damn hot.

Happy Solstice to you. May your move go smoothly and peace be with you during this time. I think you will need it.

Just be careful to not rattle too many boxes.

God bless.

Reya Mellicker said...

Thanks, Glenn. I, too, feel the energy. Having quite a time managing all of it.

Everton I am so sorry to hear this sad news. I lost my Jake on June 30 last year. My heart is so with you!

Ronda Laveen said...

Still laughing at 1977 journal entry. And we thought we could handle anything...or at least, I did. Intersting that you were writing about rattling in the 2001 entry.

Ronda Laveen said...

Tried to go to Astrobarry but link is broken.

Reya Mellicker said...

Ronda I think the link is fixed, but I'll link to it here, too.

All that acid I took. No wonder my brain is a sieve.

Reya Mellicker said...

Dropped. All that acid I DROPPED.

Nancy said...

You are a very interesting person, Reya! I sure wish I had kept journals all those years ago. Yours is certainly interesting. A book there!

karen said...

Interesting times as ever! I loved your solstice journaling - especially 1977!! So, it's over for another year, and here we are at the opposite end!

I keep thinking of you and Jake, as this was a very grief-ful time for me last year too in a way. Beautiful photos as ever,Reya - I think my latest favourite is your friend listening on the Maze.. Thinking of you!

Reya Mellicker said...

Hey Karen, happy winter solstice! I love that picture of Renee on the labyrinth. Thanks.

Nancy we're all interesting. I am a documenter, the town crier. I write it all down. That's the only difference.

steven said...

reya - the rich sharing of the passing through the layers of your sedimentary life phew - chemicals and emotions and associations and events that within the prescribed cycles of time seem to have some sort of synchronicity but then time is one way of organizing this place and really it's not real. but the revibration and realignment of essential energies is entirely real and i wonder that you made it all this way!!! so here you are! hurray! it's a very good thing. steven

Reya Mellicker said...

Yep, Steven, as always you say it perfectly. Here I am. What next?

Washington Cube said...

I have boxes in the basement of these journals I kept for decades. Brave you. I'm terrified to read mine. I think they would send me in a tailspin I wouldn't recover from.

Reya Mellicker said...

I'm already flopping around so much, what's a little more floppage? Cube, get down to the basement and start reading. Yes, excrutiating. But also: funny.

Barbara Martin said...

When I went through my big move in November I kept looking at my old journals and some of the entries, thinking, 'did I really write that?' Journals are a great way to gain snippets about your past and how much you've grown to the present day.

With all this energy that's been flowing past me of late, all I seem to be able to do in the mornings is sing. I'm so happy I don't know what to do with myself.

Reya Mellicker said...

Barbara I think I'll start tomorrow with a song. What a great idea!!

Meri said...

Fascinating entries, Reya. And a piece of my dream from solstice night was that I was walking by a body of water and saw what I thought at first was the body of a woman floating beneath the surface. Then I realized it was a manatee. What's that about? There's a lot floating beneath the surface here in Venice. I'm home in two days, filled with creative juice.

Reya Mellicker said...

Meri I think you are connected to the element of water. The Gulf spill is getting to all of us "sensitives." So glad you've had such a great vaca. Can't wait to read all about it!