Saturday, June 19, 2010

Crawling



My friend Della looked at me carefully, sized up my energy. Then she said, "Reya, put on a hat and your sunglasses until after solstice." Sage advice, oh yeah. I am completely overwhelmed at the moment by all this energy, exhausted by the light, by the changes and loss and heartbreak. I want to sleep because I want to dream. I slept a little bit last night; had strange dreams. More renovations are taking place here in the house on Tennessee Avenue. Next door they are drilling, hammering, pounding. I hear heavy things crash to the floor over there as I pull piles of dusty old boxes out of my cubbyholes. Chaos is all around me. I surrender!!

Forty-eight more hours to solstice. I am hunkering down, working a lot, going to the movies tonight. I have a plan, a map to take me from here to solstice. After that I'll draw up a new schematic.

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, isn't that right? This has been the longest week of my life. Holy cow.

I'm searching everywhere for my famous sense of humor. Maybe it, too, is hiding from the light. My spirit guides say I can do this, I can walk through the next two days. Of course they're right, right? Right.

Shalom.

26 comments:

ellen abbott said...

Wow, Reya. You can do this. I had a little melt down myself last night. It romped through my dreams. Still trying to shake it off today.

Reya Mellicker said...

I had really weird dreams, too.

Butternut Squash said...

Dreams I don't remember, but the exhaustion lingers.

Crushed glass sounds pretty bad... Of course you can do it. Don't fight the current, swim with it.

名青 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Elizabeth said...

Sending you much love and a little peace!
Breathe
maybe go to the seaside --with the rquired hat and shades

ozone?

Deborah said...

dreamt i married someone with an italian name--Mario M something very weird--like mertalonee which I kept repeating because when i married him i had no idea who he really is or what his last name is and then this a.m. as i repeated that name a dozen times, to remember for analysis, the MM came clear--perhaps because i have been suffering with an infected boil. . . or because i look so much like Josh.

you were somehow involved and in a very positive way with this dream

played scrabble from 2:30 am til 4 am--

looking for a hat and sending love and cool salve your direction

love you so

Deborah said...

happy isaac's birthday. . .

Nancy said...

First of all - those lightening bugs are magical. We don't have them here.

As for dreams - I had a very nice dream about our President last night. He was a close friend and we were doing friendly stuff. Hmmmm - I wonder what that means.

I've heard that we are in for a rocky summer astrologically. Hang on to that sun hat.

Everton Terrace said...

The photo of the flowers is lovely. Last night I dreamed my daughter called to give me the results from the vet, bad news. Strange, I haven't told her about our dogs illness yet because she is on vacation.
Your spirit guides are right, one step at a time.

Jo Floyd Lucas said...

Reya, it sounds like you're on the roller coaster that is the model for Elisabeth Kübler-Ross' Five Stages of Grief.

After all, you are still grieving for Jake, and now grieving a lost love, too. You may even feel grief at losing your old way of life. I think the 'chaos' surrounding the old house's renovation is quite symbolic. That may be why it is so disturbing to you.

You will get through the process. You will. Oh Yeah.

Reya Mellicker said...

Yes I will. I'll get through it and be all the better for it. I figured out a few years ago that that statement, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, is actually true.

Going to the movies tonight. That is certain to help everything. A total escape into another world is a cool, DARK theater. Onwards and upwards.

Shalom.

C.M. Jackson said...

peace to you dear reya---you will make it through this time and space--bend like bamboo...hope the movie you are going to makes you laugh and cry out in happiness--c

Reya Mellicker said...

It's Cinema Paradiso a totally sweet sweet film.

Barbara Martin said...

I have been feeling exhausted too, but it disperses toward late afternoon. Reya, keep yourself occupied until the 21st is over and done with. Your spirit guides are the ones to listen to.

The Bug said...

As far as I can tell I've been completely unaffected by the astrological shenanigans - so I think you got my share. Sorry about that!

Elizabeth said...

Beautiful picture of cone flowers...the iridescent spikes...resilient native flowers...drought resistant...and have healing properties in their roots...resilient and healing...reminds me of someone...wait it will come to me....its on the tip of my tongue...oh right.YOU!
;)

steven said...

reay - i am wired for sound skipping through long lists of work . . . keeping my focus through watching the sky. the sky is filled with inredible sights and even sounds tonight. peace and love reya! steven

Karen said...

Yes, definitely, if they say you can do it, then you can do it. Are you talking to Grandpa? I got the sense the other day that he's available, waiting to be called on... Quiet hugs to you!

Reya Mellicker said...

Hey Karen, Grandpa is with me every day, also Esther. Two of my guides have been working on a friend, but they'll be back.

Clearly I need all the help I can get!!

Ronda Laveen said...

Becareful for a day after Solstice too. The times are too strong for some. Beautiful coneflower pic.

Reya Mellicker said...

I'm hanging in there, Ronda. I am very strong. Also, kind of NUTS right now. I'll be OK.

Steve said...

Press on, brave soul!

Julie said...

Reya, as you know, external changes mirror internal changes. Looks like major reconstruction time for you! Giving up old belief systems and replacing them with newer, more useful ones, is a bitch. I sympathize.

Julie
http://asoulconversation.blogspot.com/

Ronda Laveen said...

Your new camera is taking some major league pictures.

Washington Cube said...

Well. I'm curious what all of this is about. Lovely echinacea. You know I'm attuned to the soltices. Those needles at Stonehenge. Wear white. Talk to a tree. Amend Pulp Fiction. Tell people you're going to go "All Druid" on them.

Reya Mellicker said...

Ah Cube. You always have the right answers. I love winter solstice. Summer solstice? Not so much.