Monday, April 5, 2010
The Green Dust
Yesterday I saw the first of the iris - one of my very favorite of the springtime array. (It's amazing how hard it is to capture that beautiful amethyst flower digitally. I find that dramatic shots taken from below the bloom reveal more of its complex, sexy shape than those taken from above - which is odd since the pollinating insects come from above. Surely they're looking at the flower differently than I am, yes?)
OK, where was I? Oh yeah, the first iris. That always marks the beginning of my Season of Sneeze, a.k.a. the Tyranny of the Green Dust, a.k.a. oy vey. What it means is that I have to close my windows during the most beautiful spring days of soft air and low humidity. Whenever I step outside, My hair goes under a hat. When I return home, I wash my face, snort saline then blow my brains out, change my shirt and hope for the best. At this time of year I change my pillowcase every day. Seriously. I place homeopathic eye drops in my poor, bloodshot, itchy eyes, guzzle Chinese medicinal herb tea brewed from a witchy-looking bunch of stalks, pods, and dried out flowers. I take Claritin, receive acupuncture, gulp tinctures to strengthen my immune system. On the worst days I just have to lie still in my hermetically sealed room while trying to breathe, my eyes squeezed shut in spite of the soothing effect that comes from the steeped dandelion teabags and cold washcloths I place over my eyes.
I try, oh God I TRY SO HARD not to rub my eyes because that just makes everything worse. Sometimes, though, like Dr. Strangelove I lose control. Before I know it, my fist locates an eye socket. After that, my histamines are in a frenzy.
Also it is my tradition to complain every year here on the blog. Mea culpa!! Maybe next year I'll have health insurance. Maybe I'll get a prescription for some heavy-duty allopathic allergy meds. Maybe I'll get allergy shots. Maybe I won't complain. Ya think?
Maybe! In the meantime I'll hunker down while the green world does its wild, frenetic, crazy fertility dance. L'chaim. Ah-choooo!! Oh yeah.