Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Nostalgiac



I've been feeling mighty nostalgic lately, which is par for the course during autumn.

I guess.

Been thinking fondly about Jake, remembering some of his adorable behaviors from a few years ago, from the time before he got so old and sick. In my dreams, I have been visiting my San Francisco life, before my involvement in Reclaiming, also before I became involved with my ex-husband. Those really were the good old days. Oh man. Can y'all hear the tiny violins playing? I can. I really can. I literally can, since at that time I worked for the San Francisco Symphony. It was a great job.

And though in order to be truly mindful, I'm not supposed to include the past in the now, especially when I'm feeling regretful or nostalgic, it's always there, moment to moment. If we don't learn from history, we are bound to repeat our mistakes. Who said that originally? Some very smart person, I think.

The past has brought me into the present in no uncertain terms, so why would I ever exclude it? Similarly, dreaming and planning for the future keeps me from stalling out in the now, guides me forwards, signals my consciousness to scan for people and situations that can help me become what I wish to be. Thinking about the future keeps me oriented along the path followed by the arrow of time. I like to include the future, too, in my present moment.

Clearly my present moment is a complex montage of all that was and all that could be, though it includes the now as well. I know, I know ... I'm definitely NOT a Buddhist. Oh well. Back to my nostalgia ....

25 comments:

David said...

I think we're bound to repeat our mistakes no matter what. It's what we do. Sometimes I actually set out to do it... For me, learning from history just means I can repeat my mistakes with a greater degree of style.

A Cuban In London said...

Turn that shower of the past on and drench yourself in it. Let the water slide down your body, cleanse yourself and when you come out of the shower pat dry yourself whilst looking at your self now in the mirror. You can't avoid the past, but you can certainly prevent the future.

Great post, as usual.

Greetings from London.

Greetings from London.

JC said...

Nothing wrong with looking back. I'm so old now though it seems like a different time ...

I sometimes thingk .. Wow where did that young girl go ?

Reya Mellicker said...

Cuban I really like your advice. I'm definitely going to give it a go, showering off the past.

David, I don't always repeat mistakes. Really, sometimes I actually do remember, and try something different. The different thing can be a more stylish mistake, but sometimes not.

Elizabeth said...

Such a tree!
I thought of you yesterday looking at Jung's Red Book.
Lots of food for thought there
you would LOVE the Rubin Museum

Reya Mellicker said...

Elizabeth - next time I'm there, let's GO!!

Hammer said...

"History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."
- Mark Train

Always kinda liked that one. And once again you and I are on very similar wavelengths. Much love your way.

Oh, and that last picture of the tree? Absolutely stunningly good.

lakeviewer said...

What a luminous tree, portent of beautiful events to come. Don't overstay your visit in the past. It tends to layer us with old guilt, you know.

Linda Sue said...

My past seems to be a movie of someone I might have known...so far from yesterday am I, especially when I see someone else looking at me from the mirror- detached...LOVE love love your tree shot- that is simply amazing astonishing lgorious ethereal and certainly made my day!!!WOW!
I think that there is a little dog out there who yearns to be yours...

Linda Sue said...

lgorious- new word!

Lori ann said...

Oh My God that's a beautiful tree!
I hear those violins Reya. They are sweet. Soundtracks of our lives. I love photos and journals, these are all living reminders of the past, I like to visit there, then make more.(even when they weren't so great,although I hope I'd learn from the mistakes!)

Wow! you worked for the San Francisco Symphony!?

tut-tut said...

Great post. Nice prose poem from Cuban, too! feeling better already.

Reya Mellicker said...

Linda Sue - I completely "got" IGlorious, oh yeah. Thanks.

Hammer - Back at you times two!

Lori, yes. I might write a post about that job, since it's so on my mind. I dreamed last night I had an apartment above the administrative offices of the symphony. I loved that place, in the dream and for real, when I was there.

Reya Mellicker said...

Rosaria, you blow my mind all the time. You're so smart! I think you should write an advice book, practical advice, you know. I need to email you.

Barbara Martin said...

Beautiful photos of the afternoon sun.

We repeat our mistakes until we learn not to do them anymore. Our experience from the past helps to steady our journey through the present and into the future. Goals are good to keep a firm focus of, to keep the steps today moving forward in order to attain them.

Ronda Laveen said...

There is a certain air of nostalgia that comes with fall. Perhaps the year coming to a close signals a look back as well as forward.

The tree photo montage pairs exquisitely with this sentence in your last paragraph: "Clearly my present moment is a complex montage of all that was and all that could be, though it includes the now as well."

Loved the photo of you and Steve in sidebar.

Bee said...

That picture is breathtaking, Reya. That huge spreading tree with its many beautiful colors. And a bit of illumination from the sun, too. It seems so expressive -- so symbolic.

We have four trees just outside the door and this morning I noticed that the leaves are more off than on now. With nature dying back around us, I think that nostalgia is natural.

Barry said...

The past is a lovely place to visit, although you always seem to know what's going to happen next.

Ronda Laveen said...

Holy Crumb-oly! Your new header is stellar!

Nancy said...

The light in that tree! Wow, what a shot.

I try to live in the Now, but like you, I visit my past to take stock of where I am now, and where I still need to go.

ellen abbott said...

Beautiful sky, beautiful tree. Like Rosaria and Nancy...

Reya Mellicker said...

Ronda you really "get" me. It always blows my mind.

Sandra Leigh said...

"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."

George Santayana

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Santayana


My mind keeps going back (!) to those tiny violins. Just how tiny arethe violins at the San Francisco Symphony? Are all the instruments miniaturized, or only the violins? So many questions....;>)

karen said...

The tree, the tree! I can't stop looking at it... I find it difficult to separate the past from the now, and the nostalgia comes tinged with all sorts of different shades. Great comments from everybody here, as ever...

Reya Mellicker said...

Sandra you are so funny!

They were full sized violins. They just look and sound tiny because theya re now so far away in time ...