Thursday, May 29, 2008
Yesterday I tried on dresses for about an hour. I'm going to a dressy party in a couple of weeks so I thought maybe it would be good to have a dress, something I never wear because ... uh ... I don't have any dresses.
This season's styles are so unflattering to my mid-age figure that I had to laugh out loud every time I looked at myself in the changing room mirror. Does anyone look good in them? OK, probably some women do. I'm thinking the women who look good in anything would look good in the bubble dresses with the crazy patterns.
In my life I've tried "wearing" a number of personal styles that had nothing to do with clothing. Some trends were flattering, some not so much. For instance, during my 20's, I "wore" self-destructiveness. That didn't look good, not at all. Apparently, I thought it was just the thing, though I was probably too stoned to really know the difference between self destruction and happiness.
My early 30's looked pretty good on me. I was more or less stable, in psychotherapy, had good friends and lots to think about. My days as a witch as well as my short-lived lesbian "lifestyle" looked as ridiculous on me as those bubble dresses yesterday. I tried, but failed to pull off either one of those trends. Kind of embarrassing to look back on it.
Now I'm gazing into the mirror of my life at 55 and asking whether or not the current trend, the bodyworker, Reiki Master, Capitol Hillizen, still fits. Hmmm. Well. Maybe not like a glove, but it looks better than the lifestyle "outfits" I wore in decades past. Maybe my life needs some tailoring, but basically, it's working for me.
I wonder if I'll look back on this in ten years and be as horrified as when I see pics of myself during the mid 1980's. The hair! The shoulder pads! The legwarmers! Yikes. Maybe it's only possible to figure out what really worked after the fact. Is that true? Beats me.