Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Back to Square One



I have a notebook in which I write by hand, in pencil, everything I believe is best not said aloud, ever, not to anyone. When the notebook is full, I shred and recycle it. You wouldn't believe the things I hear in the treatment room. I also pencil thoughts I consider to be potentially embarrassing. For instance, just the other day I wrote, 'I don't want to grow old alone.'

Right after that I decided the best way to turn sixty (which is, in my mind at least, the beginning of early old age) would be to pay what is a fortune for me so as to come of early old age in the presence of a bunch of hauty Parisians. If that isn't the absolute essence of growing old alone, I can not imagine what is.

I want to make sixty very special but I keep thinking of honoring this important birthday in terms of what is customary in our society. First I thought I would have a party, until a friend quickly disavowed me of the urge by reminding me how much I hate parties. I really do.

My next least favorite activity is traveling. Hence, though romantic and cinematic as an idea could ever be, this plan to go to Paris for a few days was ill conceived.

I knew the second I woke up this morning that Paris for my birthday sounded right, looked great and glamorous on paper and received a tremendous groundswell of support among my friends. Except it would be all wrong for me, the person I actually am.

Paris is off the table until after my sister retires later this spring (she is very interested in going). I sent my passport in for renewal anyway. It's a good idea to be ready to flee the country at a moment's notice, but it won't be Paris for my birthday. Unless I change my mind again.

I know I am very odd. At least I'm funny.

Shalom.

15 comments:

tut-tut said...

Ha; always have a current passport. Glad you're taking that step. Only you know what the next step will be

tut-tut said...

I think you'll go . . . just maybe not when you thought and maybe not alone.

Reya Mellicker said...

May it be so!

Pam said...

Yeah - that Rodin museum is not going anywhere, and although your plans are not set in concrete, the Eiffel Tower is -just waiting.

Reya Mellicker said...

My sister is very interested in going after she retires in the spring. I'll get there soon and not alone. Yay!

E Wix said...

I think you need to go to Paris with a chum and a reasonable amount of cash! Do you know Carol Gillot of Paris Breakfasts?
She is in Paris now and is great fun.

When is your birthday anyway?
oxox

Reya Mellicker said...

I will never have a proper amount of cash so I will have to go to Paris without that, but my sister is very interested in going after she retires later in the spring.

A friend posted a pic of Montmartre on FB this morning. When I saw it, my heart jumped. I really want to go, but not alone on my 60th. Dang, man.

Reya Mellicker said...

My birthday is February 13, Elizabeth.

ellen abbott said...

You know, I've never been tempted to go to Paris or Rome. I don't know why. If I ever made a trip to Europe it would be Greece maybe. England/Scotland/Ireland for sure. Or Egypt (I know, not Europe), I'd love to go to Egypt. But France and Italy? Eh. Well, the countryside maybe, the small villages. I'd probably like that.

Steve Reed said...

Well, you have to go when the time is right, and if your sister is able to accompany you later on, it seems to make sense to wait. (I didn't know about the sister factor.) I would be happy to meet you whenever you decide to make the voyage!

janis said...

I love the notebook ideal! How clever! So... A little valentine huh? Birthdays.... dang they come quicker than they use too. I have never gone out of the country. Well, I had lunch in a little town in Canada & I spent the day in Mexico as a child. I would love to one day go to Italy or Greece, but I doubt that it will be in the cards.
Im sure how you decide to celebrate your birthday will be grand♥ You are such an interesting and creative person. Maybe you can have lunch with the Pres. Now that would be very cool.

Tom said...

i would have to know somebody in Paris in order to do something so wonderful, but i do know somebody in australia...hmmm. You are giving me ideas for my 50th!

C. Allen said...

Paris, Virginia is near-by... You can visit while you wait for your passport!

Deborah said...

You could always add a year or three or deduct them--age really is a construct. The only reason I am determined to be my age this year is because of Medicare. My former husband used to say that different ages should produce different advantages. 16 drives license; 18 voting; 21 hard liquor; 25 travel abroad; 35 Senator; 42 study of Kaballah; and then he would make up some more. For 55, 60 etc. I really loved this idea. I really love you and do not want you to be time-locked.

Angela said...

We celebrated my sixtieth with a cup of coffee, cake, and two neighbours on out terrace. that was fine, no big deal. But Paris is a good idea. How about Germany afterwards?